End of the Innocence by John Goode Read Free Book Online

the first grade and went to Ed Herget’s sixth birthday party. I showed up late because my mom had overslept. Of course, we had not bought him a gift yet, so we ended up at Value Giant trying to find the cheapest action figure they had. We didn’t have time to go home and wrap it, so Mom tossed it in a gift bag and took off out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. By the time I showed up, they had already broken open the piñata and were in the process of giving gifts. I was so embarrassed by the whole thing, I ate half a piece of cake and then asked my mom to take me home.
    When I looked back on that day, I noticed that Ed didn’t say anything about the toy. I was too young to be aware if anyone was shocked by my mother, yet I remember being horribly embarrassed. How weird is that? It’s like I didn’t even need a reason to be ashamed, I could do it all on my own.
    And did Robbie really say I was cute?
    I took my pants off and was in the process of pulling the new ones on when there was a knock on the door.
    “You still breathing in there?” Robbie asked from the other side of the door.
    I slammed myself against the door so it couldn’t open. “Don’t come in!” I screamed, one hand clutching the pants like they were a life preserver.
    Silence fell on the other side in the wake of my hysteria, and then I heard him say, in an overly formal tone, “Just let me know when you’re done.”
    I tried to catch my breath before I pulled the pants all the way up. I hauled the shirt on over my T-shirt and buttoned it up. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to tuck the tail in or not, but I was thinking not. The pants were tighter than the ones I normally wore, and if I tucked the shirt in, they’d be even tighter. The vest went on last and easiest. Suddenly I felt like I was wearing a straitjacket, there were so many clothes. The urge to just rip them off came to mind, but instead I opened the door and walked out slowly.
    Robbie leaned with his back against the wall across from the dressing room, texting someone. At first, he didn’t even look over at me and just started to ask, “So everything fit all right?” and then turned toward me. “Oh my” were his only words. Shoving the phone in his pocket, he faced me and looked me up and down. “Well, that is one way to wear it,” he said quietly. The sarcasm in his words practically dripped from his mouth. “Can I try?” he asked, holding his hands up to the vest.
    I nodded, trying not to gulp.
    As he buttoned the vest, he said in a quiet voice, “Look, you’re family, right?”
    I just stared at him, dumbfounded.
    “You’re gay, right?” he clarified. I nodded, my stomach cramping up I was so stressed. “And you’re from Foster, right?” Another nod. “Okay, then let me give you some advice. What I have been doing is called being nice. It can also be interpreted as flirting by some people. Flirting is, to most people, a compliment. Complimenting you makes me social and a pleasant guy to be around.” He buttoned the top button of the vest and then smoothed the front down. “What it doesn’t make me is some lecherous child molester who breaks into dressing rooms to cop a feel from a high school kid. I’d expect that from some of these hicks, but from a fellow Mo, it’s insulting.”
    I felt like I was going to throw up.
    “So next time, take the compliment or tell me to fuck off. But don’t act like I have a windowless van out back with your name on it, okay?” He smiled at me, but I could tell he was pissed.
    “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
    “I know you are, and it’s adorable on you,” he replied, turning me around to face the mirror. “Now look Cinderella, you’re ready for the ball.” I began to tell him I hated fairy tales, but I stopped when I saw my reflection.
    I honestly did not recognize myself in the mirror.
    “Wow” was all I could say. The vest made me look super skinny, which would have sucked, but the shirt helped make my