Eve Out of Her Ruins by Ananda Devi Read Free Book Online Page B

you bring something to eat? He didn’t bother to say anything else. Every time he said that I wanted to wring his neck. Let her sit down, take off her shoes, drink a glass of water, you shithead, I wanted to yell at him, go make your dinner yourself. Or tell her you spent all day in front of the window watching for her shadow.
    She had rings under her eyes as deep as Père Laval’s grave, her eyes were sunk that deep. Her hair had started falling out. It was like strings. I don’t think she ate enough. Her hands look like the moon with so many craters.
    Then they brought in Chinese workers who worked fast and good and without complaining. Or maybe they were complaining in their own language and nobody could understand them. They told the Mauritians they had to do the same if they wanted to keep their job. Some of them were fired. But my mother worked hard. She wasn’t a loser. She was a fighter, like me. Well, not exactly, but more or less. It didn’t matter. She was fired when the factory closed since it cost too much to make sweaters and shirts here. My father said that between the American and Chinese giants our country was an ant that nobody noticed, even when stepping on us. Would you even think twice before crushing an ant? he asked. It’s all the same to them. It’s not injustice, it’s just economic rationale.
    Sometimes my father isn’t as stupid as he appears to be.
    I’d have really liked it if Carlo sent us a little money, helped us, even if he didn’t want to come back. But he still hasn’t sent anything. He calls Mam, and her face lights up like a Christmas tree. It gets me so mad, Mam being excited for fake Carlo, believing all his lies, telling me, li pu fer mwa vinn kot li en Frans, li ena enn zoli lakaz ek dis lasam , yeah, I’ve never heard any Troumaron guys talking about having a ten-room house in France and promising their mothers for ten years that they’ll bring them there and then not doing it.
    Carlo, it’s over. I’m done with the fake you. The real one’s right here by me. We’ll sit on the roof and laugh, we’ll tell stories, like before, he’smy big brother, as handsome as a god and when he’s here I’m not afraid of anything.
    Tonight I have my guitar with me. I lie down as the last bit of sun stains my head and set my guitar on my belly, I play it easy. Going to sing songs I’ve been thinking up, songs I’m not singing for anyone else. Carlo would understand if he was here.
    Ki to pe atann? Personn. Ki lavi finn donn twa? Nayen. Komye dimunn inn fer twa promes? Zot tu. Komye dimunn inn gard zot parol? Okenn. Dimunn pa gard parol, zot zis kass to leker, pa bizin per, fer kuma zot, kas zot leker, pas to simin, pa krwar nayen. Pa krwar nayen, to pa pu sufer. Pa krwar nayen to pa pu sufer.
    I don’t believe in anything. But I suffer all the same.

SAVITA
    After school she tells me, I have to go. I try to convince her to stay, but she disappears into herself, like she always does just when I’ve gone a bit too far.
    Inflexible Eve, that’s what I call her.
    I’ve gone with you so many times. I’ve taken you to your place so many times. It’s like I’m always there at the right moment to pick you up. But it’s because I always listen for you. You never call. But I hear you anyway.
    But watching you run away like this, I feel sad. You could say no if you wanted to. Why do you have to give yourself up to them? Why do you always bind yourself to them? I don’t understand.
    I want to protect you. I want to keep you from losing yourself. I want to be the one who saves you from yourself.
    Sometimes your voice breaks; sometimes my heart breaks just seeing you. Neither of us is innocent, and I hate the world for it.
    I’d give my life for you.
    It seems so easy. Only you would know what I mean. All the beauty and pain that those words carry.
    Sitting on the balcony, I look