Every Heart by LK Collins Read Free Book Online Page B

feel. But still nagging at the back of my head is Nate – my Nate. He is alive and back. It’s something I only dreamt of, but now it’s true. I give Bain everything that I am, knowing what I must do.
    Thinking about my plan makes my insides heat with anxiety, I’m not sure how he is going to handle things, but I know in order to work through all of this, I have to take a break. Once he pulls away, his face is red and cheeks are tear stained. I hate that a simple kiss can do this, but right now it can.
    Bain smiles at me and we continue to walk. My appetite is no longer there. Well, truth be told, it hasn’t been there at all lately. I begin to replay in my mind what I’m going to say, but it all jumbles together and I know I’m just going to say how I feel and wing it, hoping for the best.
    When we enter the Metro, it’s slow, and both of us take a moment to look over the menu. I try to decide on something that will be light on my stomach and order a bowl of soup. Bain orders a pasta bowl, then we both sit down to wait for our food. He hasn’t said much since our kiss and neither have I. I can sense his eyes all over me. The same way they were the night that we first met. But that night, I was free. Yeah, I was in pain, but I didn’t have the weight of another pulling me towards them. Though it had been difficult to decide between holding on to the pain of losing Nate or letting go of it to allow myself to move on. If only I’d known then, what I know now.
    “Arion?”
    “Yeah,” I respond.
    “I can’t take the silence, baby. Please, say something, anything. I need to know what you’re thinking.”
    With one heavy exhale, I look him right in the eye. “I’m going to stay with Aubrey ’til I can figure out what I want. I need a clear perspective on things and—”
    He cuts me off, “No, no, no, no, no. Please, baby, no. Anything but that. I’ll leave our house if you need the space, but not her house.”
    “Why?” I ask confused.
    “Because it’s minutes from his and I’m too far away if something should happen to you.”
    “Oh, Bain, I appreciate you worrying, but Aubrey has next week off of work, so she’ll be there with me. I really need to just clear my mind. I can’t do that at our house.”
    “So you already talked to her about this?”
    I nod my head, clearly seeing that he is getting frustrated.
    “Arion, please, baby. I’m begging you, I can’t…” He puts his head in his hands and it kills me to see him like this. Tears stream down my face watching my actions cause him this much distress.
    “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
    “Me too, Arion. Me too.”
    The server brings our food over and sets it in front of us. Bain looks at it with as much enthusiasm as I do.
    “I can’t eat,” he says.
    “Me neither.”
    Finally he looks up at me. He’s so broken. Maybe I shouldn’t leave. Maybe I should just stay at our house. I break our gaze, not able to look into his eyes anymore.
    “Are you ready?” he asks me.
    I nod my head and go to stand. He holds his hand out to me, and I grab it. I’m still unsure how we ended up in this situation. It was never my intention to hurt him, but that is exactly what’s happening.
    On the walk home, neither of us speaks. We just take our time, with the occasional photo and shouts at Bain. Walking at this slower pace, Bain lowers the brim of his hat. I know he’s not in the mood to deal with fans right now. My mind races a million miles a minute and I wish that I could turn it off, to just enjoy this time with Bain. As I look over at him, in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, he is the sexiest man alive.
    I used to think that about Nate, but things are so different now. As I weigh the pros and cons of both guys, it’s just too much to handle and I know that I need to go to Aubrey’s. As much as I wish I could stay at our place in the city, I just can’t.
    I need clarity, another person’s perspective. I know Aubrey can give me that and