Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?... by K. L. Shandwick Read Free Book Online Page B

barrier between us, but I instantly regretted my action, as I could feel his warm, hard chest and his strong, rapidly beating heart beneath my p alms.
    The band on stage was playing a cover of ‘It’s Not Over,’ by Daughtry. Alfie heard this, nodded his head towards the stage to bring it to my attention and gave me his signature lopsided smile. The smile I always had problems resis ting.
    Fighting against this love wasn’t easy, but I dug deep and stood firm. “I made a decision about us, Alfie, and we moved on. Our lives are very different now.”
    Wrapping his fingers around mine on his chest, I felt an instant buzzing sensation and for a second, we connected. I pulled my hand away as if I’d been bitten. The feel of his skin touching mine gave me goose-bumps, and I was swamped by all the familiar feelings of desire along with grief at the same time. Feelings I’d been suppressing since I ran into him before I went on stage. The connection seemed even stronger than I had remembere d it.
    “Stop it Alfie. It just wouldn’t work, we’d hurt each other more in the long term. I’m at a crossroads with the band, and you have a fabulous life living your d ream.”
    I threw my arms wide. “Don’t do this. Let me walk away. Please don’t make me cry. You’re a great musician. You have fame, and everyone loves you, Alfie. I’m contented with where I am at.” I tried to smile. “I wish you all the best in life Alfie, truly, I do.”
    I could see that what I was saying wasn’t having much impact on him. So I made the decision to talk about his girlfriend. He had been splattered all over the press with a pretty blond girl rece ntly.
    “Why are you even doing this to me again? You’re in a relationship Alfie. I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy, I think it’s great.” I really hoped she would drop dead, but I couldn’t tell him that.
    “I’m happy for you,” I lied. I tried for a warm smile and to make my voice sound sincere. “I really don’t want to be dragged back to our past. So, please just …let m e go.”
    Alfie raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. “What if I’m not happy? What if my dream isn’t my dream without you? I love you, Lily. It broke my heart to leave you that morning. Just so we’re both clear on those two points.” He wagged his finger betwee n us.
    “My feelings for you are even stronger than at the height of what we had. You are the first thing I think about every single day, Lily.” Alfie was shaking his head vigorously from left to right, his intense look never breaking his stare. He left me feeling paralyzed a gain.
    I tried to swallow past my parched throat. It made a noisy, forced sound as I still stared back at him. I couldn’t go through all the horrible feelings and insecurities again with him. So I did my best not to show any emo tion.
    Eventually he broke his gaze and inhaled deeply. Before he could say anything else, I tried to shut down the conversation. “I need to go now.” My voice sounded slightly harsher than I’d inte nded.
    When I was speaking; as if on cue, a knock on the door signaled ten minutes until his band had to perform on stage. Alfie flexed his neck both ways and cleared his throat. “I need to warm up before I go on.” I smiled slowly, how could I not, when I was looking at the man I l oved?
    “It really was… great to see you, Alfie.” I said this genuinely. Apart from all the horrible conflicting feelings I had, he still had my heart, and I was definitely still in love with him. The complex situation of our lives and a relationship with Alfie was the only reason we couldn’t be toge ther.
    I stood up straight, and he broke the stare, preparing to leave. Alfie blew out a forced breath and shoved his hands into his jean pockets, his arms stiffening, before he relaxed them, but left his hands in the pockets. His stance and attitude changed, and he became almost arro gant.
    “Sure, I only wanted to say hi.