Facing the Music And Living To Talk About It

Facing the Music And Living To Talk About It by Nick Carter Read Free Book Online

Book: Facing the Music And Living To Talk About It by Nick Carter Read Free Book Online
Authors: Nick Carter
especially was very encouraging and supportive of my singing career. I love both of them. I just wish there had been more emphasis on education and character-building and less on drinking and partying when my siblings and I were growing up. I also wish there hadn’t been so much arguing, fighting, and yelling. There was just way too much drama and not enough nurturing in our lives.
    Our house was wild. My entire family tends to think that normal communication involves screaming at each other. Conflict resolution was never in our vocabulary. We tended to fight like pit bulls, make up with floods of tears and bear hugs, and then within a short time, set back to fighting again, repeating the cycle over and over.
    SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET
    Everyone has skeletons in the closet, things they’ve done and regretted or things that happened to them that they are ashamed to talk about. You and I have to accept the fact that we are human and we make mistakes, and that there are times when we can’t control what happens to us. We don’t choose our families or the tragedies that occur in our lives.
    Like the old country song says, “Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug.” We get blindsided at times, and other times we sabotage ourselves. That’s part of life, part of being human. There is freedom in accepting that, just as there is freedom in forgiving those who’ve hurt you and also in forgiving yourself for making mistakes. Now that doesn’t mean we can just do whatever hurtful things we want and then make it right by forgiving ourselves. We have to take responsibility, and then try to do better.
    Several years ago, I realized that all my issues and skeletons were piling up to the point where they were like huge stones in a backpack I was carrying around with me all the time. They were weighing me down so much that I could hardly make a move. You can’t believe what a relief it was to talk through those issues with someone who was supportive and encouraging and who had very practical ways for dealing with them in a positive manner.
    I am not a professional therapist and it is not possible for me to sit down with you and guide you one-on-one through the process that helped me. What I can do, however, is encourage you to find someone you trust, someone with experience in counseling and therapy, or at least a very good friend or a nurturing family member to help ease your burden.
    I fought the idea of going to therapy for a long time. It seemed like something for messed up people, or for someone with more money than sense. Like many folks, I was not willing to admit that I couldn’t handle my own problems. I had the attitude that I’m good. No help needed here. I’ve got it under control.
    Except, I didn’t.
    The truth is that a therapist doesn’t handle your problems for you. Instead, therapists give you tools so that you can help yourself. They have training, experience and a much wider and deeper perspective than most people, and they are skilled listeners. Mostly, my therapists just let me talk. Part of me still fights the idea that I need professional help, but we all need someone to talk to and the therapists I’ve had really have helped me see my life more clearly. Friends can be great, but they will often judge you according to their own biases and perspectives. Some might be afraid to tell you what they truly feel. So, I recommend a professional.
    I don’t believe that the majority of people need drugs to overcome psychological issues, but each person is different. I do know that it’s been a great help just getting things off my chest that have bothered me and have festered over time. The stress from carrying around heavy baggage like that can make you physically sick, so that is another reason to look for someone you can trust to listen and offer guidance. I went through that for more than two years while stuck in a negative and unhealthy relationship with a girl. She was jealous of my

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