Faithless by Tony Walker Read Free Book Online Page B

surrounded George Heriot's School to the east. Standing there waiting for them was Gideon Graves and his band of fop haired friends. Graves moved into the middle of the narrow road to block their path.
    "Hello again, Gilroy. Sucking up to sir, were we? Listening to him droning on and pretending to be interested?"
    John stood his ground. "If you say so. "
    "We don't like suck-ups at this school. Particularly chippy little oiks who live in dirty little houses trying to get one up on their betters."
    John felt cold run through him. He said, "Go on Graves, tell me more about my betters."
    "George Heriot's School gives you people a chance to do something with your lives but instead you sit round with Cole sharing his Communist fantasies." Graves' face twisted with contempt.
    John shrugged. "I don't think Cole's a Communist. Maybe a member of the Liberal Party."
    "You're nothing. You come from nothing and you will amount to nothing."
    "Like I said, if you say so."
    Graves was carried away by his own rhetoric. "For God's sake, your being here at all is a lie. Your whole life is based on a lie."
    "I beg your pardon?"
    "My grandfather was Procurator Fiscal. I know about your father."
    "What about my father?"
    Graves laughed. "You don't know about your father? Your real father?"
    "I don't know what you're talking about."
    "He was that Fenian Commie dog who went into the docks at Leith on his motorbike." He turned to his friends. "At least he did the decent thing and topped himself: one less Mick, one less Red."
    Some of the boys behind Graves sniggered. John felt a strange feeling begin in his heart; a pride in his unknown father, the Fenian Commie dog, and an iceberg grief, deep and unsuspected. He hated these people who called judgement on the dead man. His dad. He tilted his chin up, daring Graves to go on.
    He went on." G ood God, your mother wasn't even married to him. She's no better than a whore."
    John struck him full in the face. Graves' nose exploded and he staggered back. John jumped on his chest. When Graves fell,  John knelt on him pummelling his face. He wanted to kill the boy. He wouldn't have stopped. And then he felt Fraser and some of the other boys pull him off.
    "Easy John," said Fraser. "Leave him. He's not worth it."
    He stood up, adrenalin pumping. He spat down at Graves, "There ye are, ye posh wee shite. Stan' up again and I'll gie ye another."  He looked round fiercely at the ring of boys who stood quiet; two of them helped Graves up to his feet.
    "And yous, any o' yous big men want some? "
    No one replied.
    "No, I didnae think sae."
    Graves' friends took him away in the direction of Lauriston Place. John watched him go. When he was at the top of the alley, Graves took the bloody handkerchief from his nose and shouted back to John, "My father will make sure you never do anything with your life. You just wait and see."
    John felt a jubilant elation at his victory. He smiled at Fraser and shouted back to Graves, "You and your father can go fuck yourselves. I'll not be ruled by such as ye."
     
     
    John looked back at that day as somehow fateful. It was also the day he bumped into Karen at Bonnyrigg Co-op. It was just about to close. He had nipped in to buy Black Jacks and Fruit Salad sweets with what was left of the money his mother had given him for lunch. He felt a rush of anxiety as he turned the aisle and saw the back of her head. She was intent on looking at loaves of bread and didn't notice him at first. He stood there rooted on the spot - a victim of competing desires; to run out and never look back fighting against wanting to talk to her. In the end she resolved it by turning round and noticing him blocking her way, red faced, stammering, tie undone, skinned knuckles, scuffed shoes, mud on his knees.
    "Oh, John," she said, "you look a mess."
    His mouth opened like a fish's.
    She said, "Did you memorise the kings of Scotland?"
    "Yes. Do you want to hear them?"
    "Not here," she laughed. "Besides you don't