Fake (A Pretty Pill) by Criss Copp Read Free Book Online Page B

driver’s seat.
    “Ben, this Toyota ’s a bit of a step down for you; it screams family.” I tell him.
    “It’s a hybrid car .” Jade huffs at me.
    “Well Reynolds and I both think it’s a pussy’s car.” I chuckle.  I got it out there and it’s only been a couple of seconds.  I swear I really miss annoying Jade and I’m going to really enjoy resuming this part of our relationship.
    “Who are you calling Reynolds?” Jade turns and stares at me .  And then she gasps like she’s just seen a huge accident on the highway and several dead people are lying strewn across the road.
    “What do you think you’re doing?” She asks.
    “Hanging with my nephew, aren’t I Reynolds.” I say goadingly.
    Ben shakes his head and looks at the floor.
    “What the hell?” Jade begins to growl.
    “He needs his ass cleaned up too.  He smells like one of your farts Jade.”
    Now come on, it was totally worth it.
    “Get out of the car Silas.” Jade growls; I totally get Ben’s reference to a bear now.
    “Sure thing mama bear.” I say, hopping out with little Ben in my arms.
    Jade’s frantically jumping from the front seat and out of the door she’s just flung open for herself.  If Ben wasn’t a real baby and just a doll; I’m certain she would’ve torn him from my arms immediately.
    “Give Ben to me.” she demands.
    “No.”
    “Give me my baby .” she begins to growl again.
    “ Jade, grow up.  You were the one who was dissing him for the last 9 months, let some of us non-dissers have a go.” I say, turning around and walking to the driver’s door.
    Oh shit, I’m so going to cop this later.
    “Ben, get your ass out here and calm your woman down .  I’m waiting for her to be civil before she gets Ben back.”
     
    Needless to say, it takes 25 minutes for us to get going because Jade is so put out and hormonal.  However, baby Ben gets his necessary clean up and Ben gets to place him back in his seat, because I goad Jade into letting him.
    I’d like to believe that I made my point to Jade too.  She really needs to share the little fella.
    She’s already had him for nine months.
     
    ***
     
    “When do they expect him there?” Jade asks Ben.
    “Five.”
    “Can we take Ben home?” she asks. 
    Little Ben hasn’t seen home yet, he’s been in LA at my place, which is Ben’s place ; the place I trashed that had to be repaired and is now on the market.
    “Yeah, we can do that.  Silas can get some more clothes together and have a shower if he wants t here as well.” Ben suggests.
    I agree that it’s a fabulous idea.  I’d like to see some normal again; even if it’s only for an hour or so.
     
    We pull into their driveway at around 3:40 pm.  I’m forbidden to take Ben out of the car, so Jade is trying to grapple the unit as a whole out of the back seat.  I’m helping by offering heartfelt clapping and laughter from the sidelines, since she refuses to let my hands otherwise near the contraption.
    Ben is pulling luggage out of the boot, and he’s otherwise occupied.
    And then there’s Jade and Ben’s neighbor, Leslie, trying to get both of their attention.  Instead of standing around waiting to get into the boot and grab some of my stuff, I walk over to the woman I’ve met several times in the past to see what she wants.
    “Hello there young man, you’re Jade’s brother, aren’t you .  I remember meeting you a couple of times.  Do you remember me?”
    “Yes, what can I help with?”
    “So she had the baby?” she asks.
    “Yes, two weeks ago.”
    “A boy?”
    “Yes.” I smile.
    “Wonderful, wonderful news.  This street was filled with children when I first moved here with my late husband, but all the parents just got older and the children all grew up and moved away.” She explains.
    I smile, looking briefly over to the others.  I’m not quite ready for the outside world after all.  I can feel my anxiety levels rise just talking to this sweet old lady.
    “Anyway, a