Fall Hard by J. L. Merrow Read Free Book Online Page A

lost lover.
    Maybe he’d talk— Fuck, yeah, damn, that’s good. Would he sound like Sven? Would I even know?
    “I—sorry,” I blurted awkwardly. “I’ve got to go now. Plane to catch.”
    “No problem. Hey, you want to grab a beer when you get back from your trip?”
    “Thanks, but I’m not coming back. Not soon, anyway,” I added, realising how morbid that had sounded.
    “Oh, okay,” he said, smiling. “That’s cool. You have a good trip, now.”
    I’d spent half the flight over to Iceland wondering just what it was that tattoos meant to me—or had done, until I’d lost my memory.

Chapter Five
    I didn’t start to unpack my old belongings until the following day. I soon realised that, for the most part, I didn’t have a clue which were my clothes and which had been Sven’s. Thick, padded jackets and traditionally patterned wool sweaters had clearly been bought here, but by whom? They were all the same size—my size—but couldn’t all have been mine. Why would I have needed two almost identical overcoats? Sven and I must have had similar builds as well as features, I guessed. It seemed obvious when I thought about it, given the “twins” thing. In the end, I just hung the things I liked best in the wardrobe and left the rest, and the cold-weather gear, in the suitcases.
    Monday morning, on a whim, I put on a dark, bottle-green shirt that would look good with my navy chinos. I’d always been a little superstitious about wearing green, but I was fed up to the back teeth with fearfulness and uncertainty. I’d fallen down a bloody waterfall and lost my lover; how much more bad luck could there be for me? Bracing myself, I glanced in the full-length mirror inside the wardrobe door. A stranger stared back. Spooked, I shut the door on him. Damn it. This was all so bloody ridiculous.
    I left the driver’s side window down as I drove to work, and the fresh, damp, salt-laden air had calmed my nerves a little by the time I arrived. I was a few minutes late arriving at the institute, and as I reached the bottom of the steps I was met by Alex jogging down them with an enviable, loose-limbed ease.
    He came to an abrupt halt on the bottom step. For the first time since I’d met him, Alex looked off-balance. His eyes were wide, and although he drew in a breath as if to speak, he said nothing as he stared at me.
    “Morning,” I said awkwardly.
    Alex swallowed. “Uh. Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and suddenly the boyish smile was back—although this time I was sure it was fake.
    There were no laughter lines around those blue eyes of his.
    “Something wrong?”
    “Oh—no. Uh, hell, no.” He gave a jerky kind of half shrug, then looked at his watch a little too deliberately for it to be genuine. “I’m just a little late for, uh… I’ll see you around, okay?”
    I nodded and, unsettled, turned to watch him as he jogged past.
    As if he felt my gaze on him, he turned. “Nice shirt,” he said in parting.
    I made my troubled way up to my desk, then did an about-turn and headed for the coffee machine.
    “Oh!” Mags, busy stirring in creamer, visibly jumped when she saw me.
    “What?” I snapped, made twitchy by first Alex and now her reaction to me today. “Did I cut myself shaving? What?” Her face twisted in regret, and guilt stabbed at me. “God, I’m sorry—I’m just not having a good morning,” I finished lamely.
    “No, I’m sorry. You weren’t to—I mean, you surprised me, that’s all. It’s just, I remember you buying that shirt.”
    “And…?” I prodded gently. I was sure there was more.
    “Well—you bought it for Sven, you see. A going-away present. Well, it was sort of an apology too, for not going with him when he flew out to spend a long weekend with his family. You were terribly busy, and you’d have had to get someone to cover for you… Anyway, I remember you showing it to me, asking me if I thought he’d mind it being green, if he’d think the colour was