Falling For A Cowboy by Anne Carrole Read Free Book Online

crying because you resented him for loving the rodeo more than us. ”
    She shook her head , her frown deepening in obvious surprise . She set the cup down . “ I knew how much he loved us, how much he sacrificed for us. Of course, he did love riding, honey . He ’ d be doing it now . But I didn ’ t resent him for it . The only comfort I had was knowing he enjoyed it. It ’ s a hard way to make a living , and of course I worried. But I was blessed with you and a job that I loved and a man who loved me . You know , even if he wasn ’ t winning , I ’ d get a beautiful card in the mail from him to let me know he was thinking of me—meant more than just a phone call . And if he was winning, well, didn ’ t he used to send us little presents from the road . He avens, he ’ d sent you so many of those darn beanie babies I thought we ’ d have to add a room on to keep them all. ”
    And she still had every one. Stuffed in a gray plastic tub in her closet. “ I thought he was just trying to make up for not being here. ”
    “ Suppose he was and it was a nice way to do it. Listen here , young lady . ” She cocked her head and looked at Dusty from the corner of her eye . “ L ife isn ’ t always the stuff of a TV sitcom . Few of us are lucky enough to have a Brady Bunch life . Some husbands are off fighting in Iraq . Some men have sales jobs that cause them to be away from home weeks on end . What about the guys who pilot planes? Then there are some people who opt for those commuter marriages and make them work . What your father did wasn ’ t much different . That ’ s how he earned his living and he was darn good at it . He got to the NFR five times. Not many can say that even if he never won the gold buckle . Those years were good years for us. ”
    “ But when he got hurt? T h e punctured lung … ” She ’ d never for get th e image of him lying still as the bull rammed him again and again.
    “ What happened that day was hard to witness, I ’ ll give you that . I knew it traumatized you at the time , but I ’ d have thought you ’ d have gotten through it. Honey, if he hadn ’ t gotten that punctured lung, they would have never found the cancer until it was over . Cigarettes did your father in , not the rodeo . In a strange way that punctured lung was a blessing . After he learned the truth, he gave up the rodeo and spent his remaining time, short as it was, with us. He might have never known until the very end . ” She dabbed her eyes with the apron again , her mouth set in a tight line, as if trying to hold back the tears.
    “ Mama, I didn ’ t mean to make you cry by talking of it. ” She felt the ache in her own heart.
    “ I still miss him . There is nothing like the love of a good man . Maybe that ’ s why I travel so much in the summer . Trying to find another one? ” S he gave a short laugh. “ It hurts more to think you ’ ve been upset with him all these years for not being here when that was the one thing about his life he regretted . Especially when he knew about the cancer . You always think you ’ ll have time to make it all right . But time ran out for him. ”
    Dusty rubbed her hands over her face. T he smell of beer was still on them . They hadn ’ t talked about her father in such a long time she hadn ’ t known how much she ’ d needed to . “ I guess that ’ s why he tried to get me into barrel racing . After he died, I realized he knew he had cancer and I resented that he spent his last days trying to make me into a rodeo contestant . ”
    Her mother drummed her fingers on the table “ You had talent . He was trying to pass on what he could to you before it was too late. ” She leaned in to place her hand over Dusty ’ s . Her hand wasn ’ t smooth and soft . It was rough and dry and cold . Her hands told of a hard life —a life Dusty had never thought was a happy one. She ’ d been wrong. A knot pulled in her stomach.
    “ Dusty, your father never was much for