this time - he wouldn’t be doing his nut .
‘Who was it?’ I ask mildly.
‘Please. Don’t come the innocent with me. You know full well who.’
I decide to take a chance.
‘If that was the Aid Abroad guy, I wasn’t rude to him. I was relatively polite. Look, the reason I’m even in here right now is to ask if you can help me with something. I haven’t got long before they operate on Sunny and if I don’t find someone who’s prepared to put in place all the paperwork for him they’re going to hack his foot off …’
My boss wipes his hand over his brow and gives me a dumbfounded look.
‘What in hell’s name are you talking about, Macrae? I’m referring to the captain of the Sri Lankan Camp Police force whose nose you broke a couple of nights ago. His CO has just got wind of it and is demanding your immediate release into his custody.’
Fuck. I make to get up out of the chair but then, with Dougie still towering over me, think the better of it.
‘I’d forgotten about him.’
‘You had, had you? I was rather hoping th at was the reason for your unannounced visit to my desk this morning. Otherwise why wouldn’t you have been on ambulance duty with the rest of the crew who were expecting you, I believe, over one hour ago?’
I’d forgotten about that too. Double fuck. I cover my face with my hands.
‘You’re really losing it, aren’t you?’ I feel Dougie’s hand on my shoulder, for a moment compassionate. ‘I warned you, Lawrence. I told you at our last assessment that I felt you hadn’t been up to speed for a while now. Not your fault. I told you. We have to go off duty for a bit or we all get like this. It’s called burnout.’
‘I didn’t go missing this morning.’ Bugger it, I’m losing time here. Dougie’s still seething from the bollocking that guy’s just delivered down the phone about me, but I haven’t got time for his anger or his compassion or even his attempt at a counselling session. If we’re going to move on Sunny’s case this morning we need to do it fast.
I get the feeling that the goodwill I was hoping for isn’t going to be forthcoming, though.
‘Just explain to me,’ he pleads, ‘Why the hell did you do it? I know you young men - you have to witness a lot of difficult things out here. It’s no joke. But if you’re spoiling for a fight why choose a high-ranking officer to deck? You’ve got to have known there’d be consequences.’
‘I didn’t know his rank, but it wouldn’t have made any difference,’ I mutter. ‘He was knocking that girl about and someone had to stop him. No one else did.’
‘Nobody’s suggesting you didn’t do the right thing to stop him, Lawrence. You just didn’t have to break his nose. You didn’t have to pummel him into the ground and leave him for a rag doll. The guy’s due to get married in a week’s time for Pete’s sake!’
‘To her? ’
‘Who cares who he’s getting married to?’ he glares at me. ‘The only thing we have to worry ab out is that this man’s daddy is one important honcho in this vicinity. He’s somewhat upset right now because his only son’s wedding pictures aren’t going to look so pretty. You can understand that?’
‘Yes, Dougie.’ I mutter under my breath. I need to talk to him about Sunny …
‘You’ve got some serious anger issues, you know that, right?’
‘Yes, Sir.’
‘Yes, Sir,’ he echoes, turning away from me in despair. ‘Issues that could end up seeing you acquainted with the inside of a jail cell. Are you prepared for that?’
I’m well aware. I put my head down and keep silent. Dougie’s rummaging around on his desk. I have no idea what for. I want to tell him about Sunny’s predicament. I’m bursting to bring it up again but I think that might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
‘I’m going to get the staff physician to sign you off on a breakdown ticket. That’ll state you’re unfit for any further duties at present
‘Who was it?’ I ask mildly.
‘Please. Don’t come the innocent with me. You know full well who.’
I decide to take a chance.
‘If that was the Aid Abroad guy, I wasn’t rude to him. I was relatively polite. Look, the reason I’m even in here right now is to ask if you can help me with something. I haven’t got long before they operate on Sunny and if I don’t find someone who’s prepared to put in place all the paperwork for him they’re going to hack his foot off …’
My boss wipes his hand over his brow and gives me a dumbfounded look.
‘What in hell’s name are you talking about, Macrae? I’m referring to the captain of the Sri Lankan Camp Police force whose nose you broke a couple of nights ago. His CO has just got wind of it and is demanding your immediate release into his custody.’
Fuck. I make to get up out of the chair but then, with Dougie still towering over me, think the better of it.
‘I’d forgotten about him.’
‘You had, had you? I was rather hoping th at was the reason for your unannounced visit to my desk this morning. Otherwise why wouldn’t you have been on ambulance duty with the rest of the crew who were expecting you, I believe, over one hour ago?’
I’d forgotten about that too. Double fuck. I cover my face with my hands.
‘You’re really losing it, aren’t you?’ I feel Dougie’s hand on my shoulder, for a moment compassionate. ‘I warned you, Lawrence. I told you at our last assessment that I felt you hadn’t been up to speed for a while now. Not your fault. I told you. We have to go off duty for a bit or we all get like this. It’s called burnout.’
‘I didn’t go missing this morning.’ Bugger it, I’m losing time here. Dougie’s still seething from the bollocking that guy’s just delivered down the phone about me, but I haven’t got time for his anger or his compassion or even his attempt at a counselling session. If we’re going to move on Sunny’s case this morning we need to do it fast.
I get the feeling that the goodwill I was hoping for isn’t going to be forthcoming, though.
‘Just explain to me,’ he pleads, ‘Why the hell did you do it? I know you young men - you have to witness a lot of difficult things out here. It’s no joke. But if you’re spoiling for a fight why choose a high-ranking officer to deck? You’ve got to have known there’d be consequences.’
‘I didn’t know his rank, but it wouldn’t have made any difference,’ I mutter. ‘He was knocking that girl about and someone had to stop him. No one else did.’
‘Nobody’s suggesting you didn’t do the right thing to stop him, Lawrence. You just didn’t have to break his nose. You didn’t have to pummel him into the ground and leave him for a rag doll. The guy’s due to get married in a week’s time for Pete’s sake!’
‘To her? ’
‘Who cares who he’s getting married to?’ he glares at me. ‘The only thing we have to worry ab out is that this man’s daddy is one important honcho in this vicinity. He’s somewhat upset right now because his only son’s wedding pictures aren’t going to look so pretty. You can understand that?’
‘Yes, Dougie.’ I mutter under my breath. I need to talk to him about Sunny …
‘You’ve got some serious anger issues, you know that, right?’
‘Yes, Sir.’
‘Yes, Sir,’ he echoes, turning away from me in despair. ‘Issues that could end up seeing you acquainted with the inside of a jail cell. Are you prepared for that?’
I’m well aware. I put my head down and keep silent. Dougie’s rummaging around on his desk. I have no idea what for. I want to tell him about Sunny’s predicament. I’m bursting to bring it up again but I think that might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
‘I’m going to get the staff physician to sign you off on a breakdown ticket. That’ll state you’re unfit for any further duties at present