Fangirl by Ken Baker Read Free Book Online Page A

jealous and lame
    Like that
    Sentimental . . .
    Teddy bear hugs
    Imaginary bedbugs
    Bedtime stories and eyelash kisses
    Missing my life before boys and high school disses
    Lonely . . .
    Plotting a plan to make yourself cool
    Eating fried dough and blowing off school
    If this is what it means to be a teen
    Throw me into a nerdy time machine
    As lonely as she could feel at times, Josie thought everyone else spent way too much time wondering what group they fit into—the drama kids, the band geeks, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the stoners, the math nerds, the punks, the bro hos. She was perfectly happy in her own clique: songwriter.
    Her parents never could explain where this unusual talent came from, but she’d had it since the first grade. Her mom didn’t play an instrument, didn’t sing, and generally didn’t listen to music. And while her dad had self-taught himself piano and as a result could play a little keyboard, he had never actuallywritten a song in his life. The closest thing to a song Josie even knew about was when her dad penned a poem to her mom that he had written on a napkin the night of their first date. Kimberly, you’re a babe that boggles/I swear I don’t have beer goggles. Not exactly a romantic sonnet, but cute enough that some twenty years later Josie’s mom, even though now divorced, still hadn’t found the heart to throw it out.
    The morning after the Peter concert, Josie, wearing one of her “freakish” outfits the mean girls whispered about—TOMS shoes, skinny jeans, and a black Rolling Stones T-shirt—thanked D for the ride to school. Then she and Ashley plopped into their first period seats for Human Biology class and opened their books to the section on adolescent psychology.
    â€œThe human brain,” Mr. Rickell began, “is not fully developed until into one’s twenties.”
    The class giggled. Seated beside each other, Josie and Ashley smiled.
    â€œBelieve it or not, that wasn’t meant as a joke,” the gray-haired teacher continued. “The reason I tell you this is because, today, we’ll be talking about adolescent sexuality.”
    More giggles.
    â€œAnd before you can understand what you are going through, it’s best to first understand that your brain isn’t designed to fully understand what you’re going through. In fact, the brain, especially abstract reasoning that is used to assess long-term risk and consequences, isn’t fully developeduntil your early twenties. You may think you know everything, but biology tells us that you don’t.”
    Mr. Rickell showed a slide from his laptop on the projector screen, on which appeared in giant block letters: SEX & ROMANCE.
    â€œThe difference is that one is an act, and the other is a thought,” he said. “There’s a reason why so much of art—our paintings, our music, our poetry, our literature—grapples with these two words more than any others.”
    The class fell silent.
    â€œSex and romance,” the teacher continued. “On their own, each is confusing enough. But understanding and experiencing both of them at the same time, well, that is one of life’s great challenges. You may live your whole life without entirely figuring it out. Hopefully this class will help you on your path to self-discovery.”
    Josie listened. But she didn’t hear anything. She was too distracted by the sound of Peter’s voice inside her head.

8
    â€œFan relations.” That’s what Bobby Maxx called his son’s acoustic sets at high schools, the countless radio interviews, charity benefits, mall shows, hour-long autograph sessions, and meet-and-greets before and after concerts.
    â€œIf you don’t love the fans, then you don’t love your music, because it has to be about the fans,” Bobby reminded his sleep-deprived son in the limousine on their way to yet another appearance at a local Bakersfield