Feral Park by Mark Dunn Read Free Book Online

by pulling back the folds of skin below and above the depressions.
    “Oh, dear me!” said Mrs. Taptoe, snickering. “That is a most wretched look, Elizabeth. Funny, but most wretched. Do you not agree, Anna?”
    “ Positively wretched,” said Anna, quailing.
    “And then he made the nose go up into a pig snout.”
    “Oh, shew me! Shew me!” Mrs. Taptoe clapped her hands together in jocular anticipation. Umbrous Elizabeth raised her nose to transform her beautiful dark countenance into a ghastly pig face.
    “Oh, sweet heaven!” cried Mrs. Taptoe. “That is funny beyond words!”
    Even Anna could not deny the humour in the presentation.
    “Now run along, dear girl,” said Mrs. Taptoe to her servant. “And ask Tripp how the mare’s hoof is mending. He has not yet given me a report this morning.”
    “Yes ma’am,” said Umbrous Elizabeth, proceeding to the stable.
    When she had quitted the room, Mrs. Taptoe said to her guest, “My girl very much enjoys the company of my man Tripp. I wager that she skips all the way to the stable, she is such a gamboling and rompish sort of girl. Now if the two of them decide to marry, I shall be very unhappy, as it will take them away from me and I am so fond of the company of the both of them. So—” (in a confidential whisper,) “I have encouraged them to explore their romantic inclinations without benefit of marital contract. Is that not a most wicked suggestion? Fire and brimstone! Fire and brimstone!”
    “Am I to assume, Mrs. Taptoe, that you spoke in similarly dismissive terms about the institution of marriage when in the company of your daughter and son-in-law?”
    “Oh, far worse, my dear! Far, far worse. For I am a terrible woman in this regard—no Christian at all! At least not a Christian as the word is more narrowly defined. For I believe that Christ was the embodiment of love, and this fact takes every trick at the table. It is His directive to each of us to love and to respect and to improve the lot of our brothers and sisters through every sort of tender act and compassionate ministration that ought to govern all that we do; and if this means promoting different forms of love and affection outside the more traditional species, then so be it.
    “And now, of course, I feel terrible for saying previously what I said about my very own daughter and son-in-law. They think me wicked and perhaps I am in their eyes, but who am I to judge their low opinion of me if they are truly incapable of thinking any thing else? Perhaps they have become wholly captive to their defective assessments and could not be changed under any form of persuasion or duress. Oh, bother! This tea set is so small that I feel I could be the giantess at a baby’s sipping party.”
    “But, if I may play advocate for the devil, Mrs. Taptoe—”
    “Please. Enough ‘Mrs. Taptoe.’ From now on, you are to call me Auntie and nothing else. I do so miss the sound of it from when you were a little sprout.”
    “Yes, hum, Auntie…” (with a warm smile,) “can one not make the case that it is not love and compassion on your part which permits your two amorous servants to cavort as would a wedded couple beneath your own roof, but a selfserving desire to have them happy in your employ in spite of the very small wages you are able to pay, such that all of you—including yourself—may find something agreeable beyond Christian generosity in the arrangement?”
    “I merit the devil for prodding you to such an intelligent question, but you see, child, it is neither one nor the other, but both! By remaining here, Umbrous Elizabeth and Tripp may enjoy a situation under a most liberal and accommodating mistress, my kind offices constituting a generous offset to whatever diminishment of income they must bear. To be sure, there is not perfect reciprocity to the arrangement, but certainly one abides easily, I should think. For I wish, as natural inclination, both their happiness as well as my own, and if