"Well, she's very confident when it comes to her job. She's the chief technology officer at East Global Tech," he stated with a glowing, fatherly pride. It was obvious how much this girl meant to him. "She graduated cum laude from MIT. Always into the gadgets. When she was little we could never get her to play with dolls or Carebears like all the other girls in her class. All she wanted to do was take things apart. The answering machine, the phone, my brand-new computer." He laughed fondly at this memory, and then more solemnly added, "She's very smart."
"What about when dealing with men? Is she as confident around them?"
Roger shifted in his seat. The question made him visually uncomfortable. He was probably not in the habit of being so involved in his daughter's love life. And I imagined I was the only person in this office who'd ever seen him squirm.
"Not really." He hesitated. "At least I don't think so. I think she's always been a bit reserved when it comes to men... meeting them or talking to them. You'd think being in a male-dominated field it would come easy. But then again, she's never really talked to me about those things, so I'm only speculating."
I nodded. "Okay, then. I'll probably start with a chance meeting at the poker table, and then follow it up with another 'coincidental' encounter at whatever club they plan on going to. My experience has shown that when men cheat, it's usually with someone who is a direct opposite of their wife or girlfriend. It's that 'grass is always greener' complex. So I believe the ideal bait for Parker will be someone who's confident in her ability to talk to men and who plays poker... well ."
Mr. Ireland raised his eyebrows. "Do you? Play poker well?"
I flashed a confident smile. "No . . . but I will."
Roger laughed and leaned back in his seat, amused by my confidence, yet clearly never doubting it for a second.
That was one of the fun parts of my job... becoming an expert at almost anything in a very short period of time. There are not many occupations that pay you to do that.
I continued. "Bachelor parties are usually tamer on Friday nights, and then Saturday is when they really go all out with the drinking and partying... that's when the 'mistakes' tend to be made. So I'll conduct the test on Saturday."
Roger scratched the back of his head. I could tell he was starting to have second thoughts about this whole process. It was now my job to reassure him.
"I think it's a good thing that you called me," I began in a comforting tone. "It's best to test them before they get married. If all my clients had done so, then maybe I wouldn't see half of the things that I've seen."
And it was true. I did wish my assignments were all bachelor parties and suspicious fiancées. They were so much cleaner. No kids. No law-binding commitments. No homes to be broken and made over. If only everyone would think to hire me before the wedding. But as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty. Foresight is... twenty–five billion.
"You're right. I'm sorry. This is just difficult. I don't want to see her get hurt."
"I understand. And hopefully it won't come to that," I said with sympathy.
It was really a win-win situation for everyone. It always is. The first win was obvious. He doesn't cheat... congratulations, you found a good one. But the second win... that's the one that's not so evident at first. It comes with time.
And it was also a no-lose situation for me. If Parker Colman failed next weekend, it was just one less deceitful marriage I might be asked to expose one day in the future.
"How many of them actually fail this... test?" Roger asked with uncertainty. Probably not sure whether or not he really wanted to know the answer.
"It's about half and half," I said convincingly. It was the same lie I told every client. They all wanted to know, but I didn't see the point in telling them the real statistic; it would only freak them out, and the next few days of waiting would be hard enough
"What about when dealing with men? Is she as confident around them?"
Roger shifted in his seat. The question made him visually uncomfortable. He was probably not in the habit of being so involved in his daughter's love life. And I imagined I was the only person in this office who'd ever seen him squirm.
"Not really." He hesitated. "At least I don't think so. I think she's always been a bit reserved when it comes to men... meeting them or talking to them. You'd think being in a male-dominated field it would come easy. But then again, she's never really talked to me about those things, so I'm only speculating."
I nodded. "Okay, then. I'll probably start with a chance meeting at the poker table, and then follow it up with another 'coincidental' encounter at whatever club they plan on going to. My experience has shown that when men cheat, it's usually with someone who is a direct opposite of their wife or girlfriend. It's that 'grass is always greener' complex. So I believe the ideal bait for Parker will be someone who's confident in her ability to talk to men and who plays poker... well ."
Mr. Ireland raised his eyebrows. "Do you? Play poker well?"
I flashed a confident smile. "No . . . but I will."
Roger laughed and leaned back in his seat, amused by my confidence, yet clearly never doubting it for a second.
That was one of the fun parts of my job... becoming an expert at almost anything in a very short period of time. There are not many occupations that pay you to do that.
I continued. "Bachelor parties are usually tamer on Friday nights, and then Saturday is when they really go all out with the drinking and partying... that's when the 'mistakes' tend to be made. So I'll conduct the test on Saturday."
Roger scratched the back of his head. I could tell he was starting to have second thoughts about this whole process. It was now my job to reassure him.
"I think it's a good thing that you called me," I began in a comforting tone. "It's best to test them before they get married. If all my clients had done so, then maybe I wouldn't see half of the things that I've seen."
And it was true. I did wish my assignments were all bachelor parties and suspicious fiancées. They were so much cleaner. No kids. No law-binding commitments. No homes to be broken and made over. If only everyone would think to hire me before the wedding. But as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty. Foresight is... twenty–five billion.
"You're right. I'm sorry. This is just difficult. I don't want to see her get hurt."
"I understand. And hopefully it won't come to that," I said with sympathy.
It was really a win-win situation for everyone. It always is. The first win was obvious. He doesn't cheat... congratulations, you found a good one. But the second win... that's the one that's not so evident at first. It comes with time.
And it was also a no-lose situation for me. If Parker Colman failed next weekend, it was just one less deceitful marriage I might be asked to expose one day in the future.
"How many of them actually fail this... test?" Roger asked with uncertainty. Probably not sure whether or not he really wanted to know the answer.
"It's about half and half," I said convincingly. It was the same lie I told every client. They all wanted to know, but I didn't see the point in telling them the real statistic; it would only freak them out, and the next few days of waiting would be hard enough
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