Fifty Shades of Grey Tentacles by Anita Dobs Read Free Book Online Page A

rooms, and asked Morris exactly how many
there were.
    “There are fifty shades of grey bedrooms, all
with a slightly different shade.”
    “Well, you really don't have to show me all
of them. I get it.” I said, wondering when I was going to get some
tentacle sex as it was already getting dark outside.
    “When will I go to the tentacle dungeon
Morris?” I asked, noticing his old wrinkly faced, good-natured
spirit for the first time,
    “After Dinner Miss. James; here, follow me,
it seems about time now.”
    I walked into the large dining room, with an
open fire at one end blazing, which I thought unnecessary as it was
Summer. Candle sticks adorned the table, and Grey was already
seated at one end waiting for me. The table was filled with all
kinds of dishes, more food than I could ever possibly eat, but I
would definitely try, I didn't want to be rude after all.
    “Ah, Ellie, there you are, please take a
seat.”
    I sat, and Morris put a white napkin over my
lap. Grey was at the other end of the table, and I found we almost
had to shout to hear each other.
    “Do you often eat like this Mr. Grey?”
    “What?”
    “I said, do you often eat like this Mr.
Grey?”
    “Huh?” He said, holding his hand to his
ear.
    “DO... YOU... OFTEN... EAT... LIKE... THIS?”
I shouted, clearly.
    “Yes.” He replied, “I often sit like this, I
have a bad back because of always trying to hide my tentacles.”
    “NO, I SAID... OH FORGET IT.”
    “Get it? GET WHAT?”
    I decided to take the initiative and change
seats to sit beside Grey. He seemed quite shocked.
    “Oh, Miss. James, this is quite against
protocol.”
    “Oh screw protocol.” I said, rearranging my
napkin in my new position and still feeling a little irritated
after his many shades of grey bedrooms tour. “I can't even hear you
from down there.”
    “Well, if you insist Miss. James.”
    “I do, Mr. Battleship.”
    Grey watched me begin wolfing down the fillet
mignon, I was famished, and although I didn't usually like men
watching me eat, by that point I really didn't care.
    “You have quite an appetite.”
    “That's what my mother always said.”
    “I'd like to meet her one day.” Said
Grey.
    By saying that, I knew he was serious about
me. And spilling some sauce by accident onto my cleavage, I went to
wipe it off,
    “Here, let me.” Said Grey, standing up and
leaning over and licking my breasts, taking the sauce into his
mouth. I felt my body shiver.
    “Oh Mr. Grey, isn't that against protocol?” I
asked.
    “Not on my planet it's not.”
    I questioned Grey about his childhood, and
Grey told me after he'd been stranded here on Earth, Morris had
taken him under his wing, and had been like a father to him.
    “So you mean Morris also knows you're a
tentacled alien? I thought you said it was just me, you and Morgan
Freeman who knew your secret.”
    “Morgan Freeman is my acting coach.”
    “Your acting coach? Why would you need an
acting coach?”
    “So I can learn how to act just like humans
do, mimicking normal human behavior.”
    Grey then told me that after I'd gone off
with Morris, that he'd called Morgan as he was himself unsure of
his reactions when he'd laughed like The Count from Sesame Street.
Morgan had apparently told him it was a most inappropriate laugh
for the situation.
    “Yeah, well it did seem a bit strange.” I
told him honestly.
    Grey definitely needed help on Earth, he was
so helpless in some ways, but eminently powerful in others. I
looked at him, sitting there looking at the floor, seeming slightly
ashamed of himself,
    “It just seemed like such a good laugh, you
know? Really expressive and all.” He shrugged.
    “Ya, five year old's think so too.” I
said.
    “Can you tell me in what situations it's OK
to laugh like The Count?”
    “Probably none really.”
    “That's a pity.”
    “It's sure is.” I agreed, taking a gulp of
red wine and deciding to finish off the lonely looking garnished
petite-pois dish in the middle of