Fighting To Stay by P. J. Belden Read Free Book Online Page B

sorry. I’m so sorry Dee, but I just didn’t want to lose both of you,” she takes a shuddered breath.
    That statement slices right through my anger, I’m immediately brought down from the pissed off pedestal that I’d inhabited there for a moment. It brings me back to earth very quickly.
    “I’m sorry, Hay. You are not losing me. You are not losing Josh either. Everything will all be okay. I promise.”
    We talk for a few more minutes each of us calming. Hailey and I start talking about Garrett and I mention what Pollyanna had said at the end of her phone call. She sat back thinking about it and I know she is thinking the same thing I am.
    Where are you Garrett?
     

 
     
     
    “Oh, I have a whopping headache,” Josh moans and my eyes fill with tears.
    “Hey Joshy,” I greet him with a shaking voice.
    “Why are you here? Why are you crying?” His head slowly looks around the room and his eyes go wide. “What the hell?”
    “You’re in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?”
    He closes his eyes and I can see his eyes darting around behind his eyelids. His hand tightens in the sheets and his face contorts in anger. Just then, his eyes fly open and the anger I see in them scares me.
    “Vince came to my house looking for you. He was pissed that you kicked him out. I told him to get the fuck off my property or he’d regret it. He had a fucking bat. That man is bad news, Sis. You need to stay away from him.”
    Shaking my head, my heart drops. “So this is my entire fault?” I choke out.
    “This is in no way shape or form your fault. Vince did this, not you. I never liked the guy, but I thought he was getting you over your broken heart when Garrett left. You did the right thing by kicking him out.”
    “He was at my house this morning pounding on my door,” I mumble. “We ignored the knocking and went upstairs. If I had known he’d done this to you, I would have opened that door and beat the shit out of him. I’m so sorry.”
    Lifting his hand, he places it on my arm. “You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? So are you and Garrett together?” He grins at me and I know he is trying to change the subject.
    “He wants us to be, but I’m not sure that…” I break off worrying my lip between my teeth.
    “Not sure of what? Him? You?”
    “I worry that he’s only interested now because I’ve got cancer,” I whisper.
    “Well, I can tell you right now, that’s not true. He’s been in love with you since he was in the eighth grade. He just didn’t know you returned the feelings. That’s a tough line to cross, Dee. To go from being a friend to confessing your feelings for them. He didn’t want to risk losing you completely or the dynamic of your friendship to change because his heart wanted only you.” Josh scrunches his nose up. “Those were his words not mine.”
    Unable to stop it, I laugh at his sappy speech. “So you believe him? He tells me he loves me, but then I think about all the years I’ve wanted him to return my feelings…” I shake my head. “Then there’s the part of me that fears getting involved with him now would be a mistake especially if I can’t beat this. Then I’d leave him behind heartbroken.”
    He raises the head of his bed slightly. Taking a breath before wincing a bit in pain, he talks slowly. “I promise you, that man will be left behind broken-hearted no matter what. At least he can love you now and have those happy memories of your time together to heal his heart and make him smile.”
    Nodding my head, I stare off blankly. “You want your phone? Pollyanna is really worried about you.”
    His face pales. “I was on the phone with her. Is she… Is she okay?”
    “Yeah I talked to her. We exchanged numbers and I’ve been giving her updates as we have been finding them out. Hailey was here. She went to take a shower and get some fresh air. She’ll be happy to see you awake.”
    “Thank you, Dee. You have no idea how much that means to me that