FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest by Shannon Kaiser Read Free Book Online Page B

wronged. We act out in self-abuse by overeating, overworking or over indulging on harmful substances rather than practicing self-love and appreciation for each other. Forgiving others is one of the most important things you can do to become happier. When you are happy you are not stuck in the past or worried about something someone else did to you because you know that it was never about you anyway. Would you rather feel angry, anxious, stressed, and frustrated, or happy, free, satisfied, and fulfilled? Choose to forgive and you will be able to love your life more fully.
    It’s Not About You
    Most of us spend our lives trying to execute a perfectly crafted plan to appease other people, but forget to check in with ourselves. We assume that when our best friend doesn’t call back that we did something wrong or that our boss won’t give us a raise because they don’t like us. Well, did your boss ever tell you he doesn’t like you? Did you ever forget to call someone back? Many times things happen and we humans, with all the emotional cobwebs intertwined inside us, get caught up in the moment and assume it is about us. When things aren’t going your way or you assume someone is doing something out of character because of you, use this hard and fast rule: It is never about you. EVER.
    We have taught ourselves to take things personally. We are born into a loving light with family, friends, doctors and loved ones caring for our every need. They take us in with unconditional love, bathe us, shelter us, feed us, and love us. The whole world revolves around us.
    Then something happens that makes us question our world. Mom and dad fight. We see a car accident. Our brother hits us and makes us see the other side of love. Whatever occurs, our worldview automatically shifts. We see things in a different light and because of our previous existence when the world revolved around us, we feel a sense of subconscious entitlement. We assume dad is fighting with mom because he is mad at us. We think that everything that happens is about us. My challenge for you is to look at life in a slightly different perspective. What if everything that happens is not about you but about them? People say and do things not because of you, but because of their own fears.
    For example, I spent 15 years yo-yoing 30 pounds of weight — up, down, up, down. I had insecurities and addictions I pushed through. Not until now can I say I am comfortable in my own skin. I finally realized that it isn’t about a number on a scale but who I am as a person. Are you doing good in the world? Are we making a difference? Are we generally good and doing no harm? It isn’t about the size, shape, or the color of your eyes. What is inside us makes us beautiful.
    In the spirit of it not being about us, I recognized some common realities in my relationship with my father. While I was growing up he would always make comments about my weight, subconsciously engraving into my mind that I was not good enough. Recently, I pulled out a pint of ice cream and started eating it for dinner. I left the guilt behind and enjoyed every second of that silky, sweet bliss.
    Looking at my mouth full of vanilla chip, sugary ice cream, my dad said, “You’re real serious about losing weight aren’t you?” I could have easily taken this comment personally and gone into an even deeper self-destructive mood. I could have defensively shot back, but I knew that what he said had nothing to do with me. I responded, “Forget weight, I am serious about living and enjoying life!”
    A lot of the time people say and do things that reflect what they fear. He was looking at ice cream as a bad thing and not an appropriate dinner. He was not really concerned about my attempt to lose weight but rather with his insecurity about losing his own excess weight. Life is what we make of it, and when we stay stuck in negative thought patterns because we are busy picking apart looks, comments, and reactions from