Five Minutes Late by Rich Amooi Read Free Book Online Page B

gown had turned into a Cirque du Soleil tent.
    “Please lift the gown for me.”
    “Now?”
    “Yes. Now.”
    Cedric, now fifty shades of pink, lifted the gown. “Sorry.” He looked down at his unit, which was now approximately the size of a hammer. “Not sure what happened there.”
    “Uh huh.” Her eyes opened wide as she grabbed his left testicle and smiled. “Turn your head and cough.”
    Cedric coughed, hoping to get the examination over as soon as possible.
      “I’m surprised at the size of your…” she looked down at his package and then removed the gloves, tossing them in the trash. “…brain, Mr. Johnson.”
      “There’s no need to be so formal.”
    “You can drop the gown now.”
    “Oh…” As the gown fell back down, it got stuck on his protruding member, which now looked more like a fleshy towel hook.
      Doctor Ellie sat down at the computer station and logged in. She clicked a few buttons and turned the monitor in Cedric’s direction. Zooming in, she used her pen to point to a dark spot on the right side of the image.
      “You have a small tumor here on the right frontal lobe of your brain.”
    Talk about an erection killer.
      “This would explain your constant headaches and difficulty thinking. It could also be the cause of your occasional mood swings.”
    Cedric felt the sudden urge to put his fist through a wall. “You’ve got to be joking.”
      “This is no joking matter. Especially since your testicles are going to shrivel up to the size of garbanzo beans.”
      “What the hell are you—”
    “Odd, I’m craving hummus all of a sudden. With a nice green salad.”
    “You’re serious?”
      Ellie nodded. “But now for the bad news—”  
      “Bad news? What the hell was that you just gave me?”
      “You’re going to die.”
      “Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.”
      Ellie handed Cedric a stack of papers. “Please sign these papers quickly so the insurance company pays us.”
      Cedric stared at the papers in amazement. That’s it? And all Ellie could think about was the insurance money? Did she not care about the feelings of her patients? No compassion? No sympathy?
      Ellie checked her watch and then swiped the papers from Cedric’s hands. “Darn, too late. You only have twenty seconds left to live. That’s too bad, a real shame. Fantastic hair, by the way. If we had more time, I’d love to run my fingers through it.”
    “Can’t you save my life again?”
    “Sorry, love biscuit.” She began to count down. “Five, four, three, two, one ...”
    Ellie ran from the room, the building shook, and the walls rumbled as a UPS truck came crashing into the examination room, taking out Cedric in the process.

        Two hours after the dream, Cedric lay on the cream-colored leather couch in the office of his Psychologist friend, Michael Vela. His eyes scanned the enormous built-in bookshelf, filled with hundreds of books, patient files, miniature white Roman sculptures, and the head of Albert Einstein.
    “Why do you always lie down?” asked Michael. “I told you people don’t do that anymore.”
    “Maybe I just stopped by to take a nap.”
    “You want me to tuck you in?”
    Cedric laughed.
    Michael tapped his pen on the desk. “What’s the latest on Papa George’s property?”
    “We’re waiting to hear back from the Tax Collector about the auction.”
    “You must be excited.”
    “I am, but I’ll feel more relaxed once I know for sure that I can actually bid on the property. I don’t see why not, but I don’t have confirmation yet.”
    “I’m sure everything will be fine.”
    Cedric nodded and closed his eyes, thinking of his latest dream again. Brains shouldn’t be allowed to let you have dreams like that.
    “You look preoccupied.”
    Cedric opened his eyes, sat up, and shrugged. “Tony says I’m possessed by demons.”
    “And you believe him?”
    “Well, after what’s been happening to me recently, I’m starting to