Five Women by Rona Jaffe Read Free Book Online Page B

how sick that sounded, but she also knew she was an emotional masochist, if not a physical one. That was just the way she was.
    Jason went along with it and liked it. He would never hurt her body—physical pain was not her thing, it revolted her—but he tortured her mind. She didn’t know when he would turn up next and when he would disappear. He was aware that she suffered when he stayed away, but he had no idea how terrible it was for her. It was as if everything they’d had together that was loving and good had simply vanished, with no explanation and no trace. She felt like a lost child. He couldn’t imagine the depth of her fear . . . or maybe he could.
    It had been so passionate and wonderful last week; maybe that was why he hadn’t called. They had brought in lunch to their secret pied à terre and hardly touched it. She had closed the curtains and lit candles, and they had smoked a joint together, had a glass of wine. They’d had sex on the bed and in the bathtub, and she’d had three orgasms, leaving her exhausted and euphoric. He had finally said he loved her. How could she be so stupid? Of course he would never call her again; he was married and couldn’t afford to fall in love.
    Felicity knew there were tears in her eyes and tried not to cry at the table in front of her friends who were having a good time. Gara had said Jason always called eventually, but Gara was just trying to be encouraging. Love was the fatal word, and he would never see her again. He would find another woman to take her place, one who wouldn’t threaten him by making him have emotions.
    Or maybe it was just that he was tired of her and had found the other woman already. He could have been lying when he said he loved her. Maybe she’d been deluding herself and he had been seeing the two of them all along.
    Felicity turned all the possibilities of abandonment over and over in her mind and tried to dismiss each one methodically, logically, as if she were laying out a case. Jason would never find sex with another woman that was as hot and good as what he had with her. He had told her that many times. And yes, she believed he did love her and that she had finally gotten to him. His face had seemed so pure, so clear, so sweet when he admitted it. She knew his marriage was not much better than hers, so she had never worried that he would give her up for his wife. But what would she do if he kept avoiding her and never came back? How could she survive her own arid marriage without him? The concept of being alone with Russell forever, of having him be the only man she leaned on, the only friend, was inconceivable. She felt so lonely when she was with him, and she had no idea why.
    Kathryn snapped her fingers. “Wake up, Felicity, you’re in dreamland. Here come the two cute guys I met at the bar.”
    Felicity looked up at the two white men approaching, not knowing what to expect because Kathryn was so friendly that she liked everybody. One of the men had a nice, craggy face and was well dressed, but he was way too old; and the other was wearing baggy clothes from J. Crew and looked like a nerd, but when he got closer she saw that he was quite attractive and looked about her own age. In a way his very casual clothes were charming; he seemed almost boyish, or perhaps it was the way he carried himself.
    â€œThe older one’s in oil,” Kathryn whispered cheerfully. “He’s from Texas. He’s the one I want.” She gave them both a big smile.
    Felicity glanced at Gara. She had her arms crossed over her chest as if she were protecting herself. Eve’s hot eyes were bulging, and steam was practically coming out of her nostrils. She was probably psyching herself up with her power, sending them her magical vibes. As for herself, she sat back quietly and watched.
    â€œPull up chairs, you two,” Kathryn said. “This is Stanley Stapleton, from Texas, and Eben