Forever by Pati Nagle Read Free Book Online Page A

you’ve got to give it a name!”
    “The curse. Yes, it was Len’s idea to use human technology to seek a cure. Quite brilliant; you’re right that we should have thought of it.”
    A weight of responsibility settled on me, much to my dismay. I knew I wasn’t equipped for the job.
    “There is time,” Lomen said gently. “And this is not what we came here to talk about.”
    I closed my eyes, completely boggled and confused. “I don’t want to fail you,” I whispered.
    “You can’t, because I ask nothing of you.”
    And somehow, that lack of demand was the straw that broke me. I put my face in my hands, overwhelmed by the grace and tragedy of the ælven, by my hopes and now fears for Lomen.
    “Steven.”
    I was struggling just to breathe without melting down. I heard him shift on the bench, then felt his hand on my shoulder. So warm.
    We have told you too much, too quickly. Forgive us.
    And he was there, right before me. A pool—no, an ocean—and I could dive in and lose myself in bliss. All it would take was to let go of who I was.
    But who was I, anyway? The last twenty-four hours had changed me so much I didn’t even know any more.
    You will not lose yourself. I promise you that.
    Maybe I already have.
    I felt him smile, a warmth that rippled through me. No. I see you.
    He wasn’t talking about normal vision. I held still, breathing easier now, just trying to understand the situation. I could feel that he was waiting, patiently. In no hurry.
    Waiting for what, I wasn’t quite sure.
    This was so messed up. I’d come looking for a relationship, I hoped—one that would last a while—but I couldn’t shake the whole Ebonwatch thing, and it had me confused. And now, overlying it all was a sense of inevitable doom. They would die out, this amazing, breathtaking race of non-humans. It broke my heart.
    His hand squeezed my shoulder, bringing me back to an awareness of my body. I inhaled, catching a hint of sandalwood and pine.
    My flesh, reminded of why I’d come here, responded. I was sure he could tell.
    My body had no doubts or hesitations. It didn’t care that we were sitting on a bench in the middle of campus, with people all around.
    I swallowed. Desire was welling up so strongly that it overrode my confusion. I would have given into it right then if not for the thread of caution that I had learned early on never to let go of.
    I couldn’t help the memories that flashed through my thoughts, and I knew that Lomen was aware of them.
    Sitting on the bleachers at a football game, knowing something was going on beneath them. I could hear the muffled thumps of a beating, the savage voices muttering, “Faggot!” A glimpse between the seats and I knew who it was: a boy I’d admired. A boy who didn’t show up to class the next day, or the next week.
    I had made no move to help.
    I had known that to do so would only focus their rage on me as well. But it still wasn’t right.
    Lomen’s hand slid from my shoulder. I sensed something briefly—dismay? It was gone the next instant.
    Your first instinct was best. We should have met at your home.
    I took a ragged breath. Sat up and blinked.
    Go there now. If you want me to follow, I will.
    I turned my head to look at him. His gaze was soft, and made my heart rise in my chest.
    If you prefer some time alone, I will understand. The choice is yours.
    I stared at him a long time. It would probably be wise to do as he suggested. Take some time to calm down, get my thoughts in order.
    No. I’m tired of being alone.
    Then you need not be.
    He stood and shouldered a pack. It was like any other student’s backpack, heavy with books. Didn’t go with his clothes at all.
    A memory flashed into my thoughts—a black backpack with Lobo stickers, one corner steeping in a puddle of blood.
    I gave my head a shake and collected my own pack. Lomen stepped away from the bench, motioning to me to lead.
    We didn’t talk, in any way. I was too wound up to trust myself to discuss