Fortune's Hand by Belva Plain Read Free Book Online Page B

unless you’ve killed somebody.”
    â€œNot yet.”
    The sofa was strewn with textbooks and papers. He cleared them away, and they sat down. Then he began.
    â€œThere is … there has for years been someone at home. Her name is Lily. A kind, wise, lovely woman. Trusting …” His voice broke.
    Ellen was staring down at the floor. He would remember the sneakers lying there. He saw himself in some vast future, remembering them and the lampburning in the dim corner, and her hands clasped with the gold lion on her wrist.
    Then he resumed. Mercifully, words poured from him as earnestly as if he were pleading a capital case. So he told his story and arrived at the end.
    â€œÂ â€˜Unless you’ve killed someone,’ you said when we came in, and I answered, ‘Not yet.’ ”
    They sat there inches apart. A stranger would know, Robb thought, what is happening here in this room, even if we were at opposite ends of it. He would feel the quiver in the atmosphere. When he took both her hands in his and pulled her to him, she began to cry.
    â€œDon’t, don’t,” he whispered, and kissed her mouth, her eyes, and again her lips as if the kiss could never end. He held her sorrowful face between his hands. How had this happened? He had seen himself as a man experienced in both desire and love. Now he knew he was neither.
    â€œWhat are you going to do?” she asked.
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œWhy is this different for you?” she asked.
    He understood her meaning:
What is the difference between me and the other?
    He could not answer. He might just as well try to explain the power of music. And he replied instead, “I was afraid of you. Afraid, afraid that this might happen. From the first time in that imitation Versailles.”
    â€œWhat are you going to do?” she repeated.
    â€œRight now? I’m going to make sure that door is locked, and take you inside.”
    She stood up and went with him into the roomwhere he slept. He had always been meticulous, and it was neat, the white cover clean, the clothes hung in the closet.
    â€œI’ve never done this before,” she said. “Are you surprised?”
    â€œNo. For some reason, I’m not.”
    He began to unfasten her jacket. She stood willing and straight, watching him. He drew it back over her shoulders, which were bare. Lace covered her breasts. He reached behind her to loosen the clasp, and the lace fell to the floor. Then the telephone rang.
    â€œDamn! Let it ring.”
    But stridently it persisted, scraping every nerve. He could have ripped the thing out of the wall. Instead, he picked it up and stormed, “Hello!”
    â€œIs that you, Robb?”
    â€œI’m sorry, I’m out of breath. I just came in from outside when I heard the phone.”
    â€œI didn’t think it was you at all. You sounded angry.”
    â€œNot angry. Merely rushed.”
    Ellen was beginning to straighten her clothes. With a gesture of his arm, he pleaded,
Wait. Don’t go. Please
.
    â€œI’ve been almost frantic, Robb. You haven’t phoned. I called you Tuesday afternoon, and there was no answer again yesterday. I couldn’t phone at night because I had to work late. They’ve been having some events at the library. Are you all right?”
    â€œOf course, of course. I’ve just been up to my ears.”
    â€œJob interviews?”
    â€œNo, the regular work, plus Law Review.”
    His legs were weak. Prepared for a lengthy conversation, he sat down on the bed.
    â€œYou seem so tired, not like yourself.”
    â€œWell, that happens to all of us sometimes.”
    He was trying to think of something to say, and found it. “How is your mother?”
    â€œAll right. Fine. She was worried about you, too.”
    â€œWell, tell her not to worry, nothing to worry about.”
    â€œRobb, is there anything wrong?”
    â€œOf course not.