help those behind, while always reaching forward.
Heâd built a proud family. Heâd increased the legacy left by his own father, and knew that his children would do the same.
And still it wasnât enough.
He wasnât ready to go. At sixty, he should have lots of years left. He should be able to sit on a damn rocking chair on the front porch of the Double Crown and watch his great-grandchildren playing in the sun.
Hell, only a year ago heâd had grand dreams and plans, and nowâ¦he only wished he and Lily could stop and watch a sunset together again. He wished he had thestrength to run his fingers through her hair, to kiss her, to make love to her one more time.
Ryanâs eyes closed and a soft smile crossed his face as he remembered what his daddy used to say. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
âYouâre right, Dad,â he whispered, as if Kingston Fortune were there in the room with him. Who knew, maybe his spirit was there, getting ready to escort Ryanâs soul on its trip toâ¦wherever.
Funny. His mind kept drifting. Never used to be like that. Used to be able to concentrate. Focus. Now⦠âNo more wishing,â he whispered into the silence of his room. âInstead, Iâll just remember what Iâve had.â More than most, that was for damn certain, he assured himself.
Heâd loved and been loved by two women in his life. Heâd raised children and known the love of family, which when you came right down to it, was all that meant anything.
He frowned and gave a short sighâall he could spare. Heâd made mistakes; all men did. He regretted some, but others had caused good things to happen in the end, so it was hard to be sorry about them. Still, heâd tried to do his best. Tried to make a differenceânot only for his family, but for the world. Heâd tried. Damn, heâd tried.
He only wished he knew if heâd succeeded.
âRyan, honey?â
He opened his eyes and turned his head on the pillow, following the voice that he knew would be with him through eternity.
âStill beautiful,â he whispered, and watched his wifeâs luscious mouth curve into a smile.
âSilly man,â she said, and unnecessarily straightened the sheet and light blanket covering him. Smoothing, running her fingertips across the fine linen, she avoided looking at him.
She did that so often these last few days.
Ryan knew why. There would be tears in her amazing dark eyes. There were always tears now, and oh, how he wanted to be able to stop those tears for her. He wanted to grab her up, tumble her onto this wide, now lonely bed and bury his body deep within hers.
Strange how the hunger for life didnât ebb as death drew near.
In his mind, he was still the strong young man whoâd seen a teenage Lily Redgrove and lost his heart. It didnât matter who or what had come between that time and this. Thereâd always been that slender thread connecting their two hearts. It had taken a lifetime for them to finally come togetherâand when they had it had been well worth the wait. But oh God, they were being cheated out of all the years to come.
âStop,â he whispered. âSit.â
She did, perching on the edge of the mattress as if she were a bird gingerly landing on a live electrical wire. âDo you want anything, honey? Can I get you something?â
âTime,â he said, finding a smile for her. âGive me more time, Lily.â
âWeâll have time, honey. We will.â She picked up hishand and held it gently between her own, as if she could somehow transfer her health, her vitality, to him.
Sunlight splashed across the big room and backlit Lily until her dark hair looked gilded. A strong woman, Lily. Sheâd been through a lot in her life and sheâd never been broken. Sheâd faced up to tough situations and stood her ground. Yet now she was deliberately trying to