Fragged: A BWWM Military Romance by Paige Notaro Read Free Book Online Page B

want to stuff my head in a pillow. It was so cheesy. But the way he had tugged me in, just buried me in a wall of heat and strength. It had only been a moment, but I’d caught a glimpse of true security, of having no one to fear with him close.
    Ok, nothing other than a misfired gun. I smiled to myself.
    There was still something off about him that I couldn’t quite grasp. I had seen the darkness in men before: cruelty, greed and lust. He’d said some odd stuff, but the thing behind his eyes wasn’t hatred.
    It almost looked like fear. Why on earth would he be scared of me?
    If only he hadn’t run off. If only we had more time together, I could have learned who he was, found ways to help each other out, maybe even realize…
    “Elsa!” Mamá’s scream shook me out of it.
    She hobbled down the stairs, straightening as she landed in the lobby. How could that voice come out of a woman so small? It had kept growing with age even as she had gotten shorter and stockier.
    “What are you doing?” she yelled past me to Elsa.
    “Helping Rosa look for her stupid keycard.”
    “Really?” I said. “My keycard is stupid now?”
    “This whole thing is stupid.”
    “Enough,” Mamá said. “No fighting before we go to see God. Now come on”
    Elsa dropped a pillow and went over to the lobby where she got a quick makeover from my fussing mom. Mamá had on a dark gown and a shawl over her chestnut brown hair. The two looked so much alike, both much paler and much smaller than me.
    My mom’s family was mixed. They had not been happy when she married my much darker father. In South America, they had strict rules about that sort of thing.
    I’d been jealous of my sister’s skin, when she was till a baby and we were still in Caracas. But it stopped mattering as much once we became American. And after what happened to my dad, I started to love that I looked more like him.
    “Rosa,” Mamá said, opening the door. “You are coming, yes?”
    “Ah, I wanted to, but I need to deal with this.”
    “You can deal with it after. God will help you if you pray to him.”
    “You’re not headed to mass. Besides, I think this might be one of those ‘He helps those who help themselves’ situations.”
    I wasn’t in the mood for mingling at some fundraiser with church folk. Church had saved me back in high school, but that had been the choir more than the religion. I never found the comfort there that my mother or even my sister did.
    Prayer might let you accept the bad in life, but it wouldn’t shield you from it.
    “Fine,” Mamá said. “You do as you please. God will find you wherever you are.”
    “Ok. You two have a good time.”
    I blew a kiss to Elsa as the two went out. She made a sour face, but she didn’t swat it away.
    I surveyed the damage. It now looked like ground zero for a tornado. All I’d managed was to make my exterior resemble my interior.
    I just wanted to call Lilly over and sit amidst the wreckage, watching some primetime drama. There was more than a chance she was busy with her trying to conceive thing though. I was not ready to interrupt that drama.
    Well, I called it drama. Some people called it living life. I still could hardly believe she wanted a baby. We were still in our mid-twenties. Then again, she had a job and a guy. It was a next step.
    If you believed in that sort of thing. Lily liked to call me cynical and say it was just a matter of finding the right man.
    But the only image that brought up was Calix. It was the sort of silly thing little girls think. If I knew him better, he might have turned out to be just the same as the rest.
    A dark veil fell on my mood. I started undoing my chaos. Tomorrow, I’d have to go in and get tongue lashed by my boss, endure Lem’s slithery condescension and not even have a cute patient for my rounds.
    At least I’d still have my job. I could be one of those people who married that instead of settling down.
    I had just dropped onto the remade sofa, when