indeed, given the current conditions.
Lowering the binoculars, I watched the
surface of the water.
The stern flags on the yacht blew south,
and west, and I noted the direction and intensity of their motion.
I than came up with a brilliant idea.
If I made a high-speed pass, I could
essentially flatten the waves next to my prey for a few seconds. The problem
was getting my boat back to that area quickly enough so that I could attach the
tracker.
The answer came to me in a flash – I’d
just drive the boat backwards alongside the other, and then past the stern.
When I got about forty feet away, I could
shove the throttles full open, then kill them as he came abreast of the other
boat. I’d have a split second to smack the tracker onto the hull, then I would
accelerate and leave them behind.
I quietly maneuvered to the other side of
the marina, to see if he could test my theory. After a few tries, I felt I knew
how to best control the throttle. I then drove across to the other side, and
positioned my boat ahead of my target.
Tying myself to the railing, I ducked low.
It was good it was pretty dark, even with
the few dock and boat lights.
I knew the guards were watching, and I suddenly
had another flash of brilliance.
Grabbing a beer from the cooler underneath
my console, I popped it and chugged half of it. Hey, I don’t like to waste
beer!
Driving erratically at the yacht, I began
waving at the guards, trying to attract their attention.
I noted a couple of the guards turned to
look at me, and I started to yell obscenities at them.
“Fuggin’, towwl-head camel-jockies, comin’
here to ‘Murica and takin’ our oil and wimmen!” I shouted inarticulately.
I was trying to sound like a drunk,
red-necked asshole, who’d decided that one too many immigrants were in my
country.
The guards gestured and even laughed at me,
as I waved my beer at them. I chucked the beer can at the yacht, and it fell
short into the water.
I was trying to act as crazy as possible,
throwing all kinds of strange and idiotic antics into my performance while
calculating the perfect time to take action.
Just as I finished the throw, I
overbalanced, and ducked down.
As I did, I secured the binoculars, and
put the boat into reverse.
“Whoops!” I yelled, and then looked as
though I were fumbling with the controls of my boat.
The guards laughed some more, until one of
them felt I might pose a real hazard and cause a collision.
Then, they all began waving at me, and yammering
that I should leave.
“Move back! Move back! You’re going to
kill us all! You crazy fool, get away from our vessel!” one of the guards
yelled.
I stood up, and yanked my pants down
part-ways, mooning the guards.
Shouting some more drunken slurs, I
watched as the guards took up positions.
One of them was on a hand-held radio, but I
knew my on-board electronics were quashing any radio or cellular signals that
were being transmitted within three hundred yards of the “Inferno”. I could see
the guard switching frequency on the handset, and shaking it as if it were
broken.
I bent back and forwards, as though
drunkenly trying to get my balance. Pretending to fall into the cockpit, most
of the guards pointed and laughed harder at my foolish antics.
I mashed the throttles, the boat whooshing
backwards, gaining speed.
I guided it unerringly alongside. The
stern of my boat sent up geysers of water, soaking him.
I grabbed the tracker, quickly making sure
that it was activated.
As my boat’s bow passed the stern of the
other craft, I jammed the throttles full ahead.
There was a weird sound, like a jet engine
spooling up.
My speedboat was almost to the stern of
the “ Disco Inferno ” again, and I cut the engines, then had a brief
moment of insight and threw them back into reverse before cutting them off.
My speedboat stalled in the water, and I
smiled because it was perfect timing.
I leaned down, smacked the tracker on the
hull of the other boat, and