Friendship According to Humphrey by Betty G. Birney Read Free Book Online Page B

me and frowned. “Were you squeaking at me?” She shook her head. “This is the last straw. First, I have a room all to myself. Then Mom marries him and pretty soon I have a stepsister taking half my room and a new baby brother crying all the time and nobody knows I exist! I’m supposed to be happy about the whole thing when it wasn’t my idea. And now they’ve moved in a guinea pig!”
    That wasn’t a huge insult, because guinea pigs are cute and furry like me, only not quite as cute. Anyway, I could see Abby’s point. I wasn’t happy about Og moving into Room 26 and it sure wasn’t my idea! The difference was, Miranda is actually nice. And Og is, well, Og.
    Miranda returned and the two girls settled into their respective beds.
    “Night, Humphrey,” Miranda said to me.
    Neither girl said a word to the other.
    I had a long night ahead of me, and since I’m nocturnal and do most of my sleeping during the day, I had a lot of time to think.
    What Abby had told me helped me understand why she was so crabby with Miranda. If only I’d studied psychology like Natalie, maybe I could get inside her head and figure out how to make her like Miranda as much as I did.
     
    The next morning, Miranda cleaned my cage while Abby lounged on the bed, writing in her diary.
    “What are you doing, anyway?” she asked Miranda.
    “Taking out the old bedding, putting in new. Changing the water, stuff like that.”
    Abby slammed her diary shut. “It doesn’t—you know—go to the bathroom in there, does it?”
    “Well, sure.”
    Abby leaped off her bed and pointed to the door. “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. Get it out of my room right now!”
    (I’ve figured out a lot about humans, but I still don’t know why my little potty corner is always such a big deal to them. I’m really quite tidy.)
    Miranda didn’t budge. “He’s on my side of the room.”
    I was all for Miranda. On the other paw, I could see that Abby had been through a lot of changes in a short time. It’s not easy getting a new roommate. I learned that the hard way! I also knew what a good friend Miranda can be. Friends help friends, so I figured it was time I did something about it.
    I had a Plan. A Plan using reverse psychology. Since Miranda had no luck getting Abby to like her, my Plan would make them not like each other even more. (If that was possible.)
    Okay, it didn’t make a lot of sense, but when Natalie used reverse psychology, it worked REALLY-REALLY-REALLY well.
    I had the chance to set my Plan in motion a short time later when Mr. Golden announced that the whole family was going to a museum.
    “Do we all have to go?” asked Abby.
    “Yes, all of us. We’re a family, you know,” said her mom.
    Abby wrinkled her nose. “Even the baby?”
    “We’ll bring the stroller,” said Miranda’s dad. “He’ll like it.”
    Despite her grumbling, Abby joined the rest of the family and I soon had the whole house to myself. My Plan would take speed, strength, courage and lots of time. It would be well worth it . . . IF it worked.
    Once I was sure they were gone, I opened the lock-that-doesn’t-lock and hurried over to Abby’s bed. I had been studying it all morning and thought that if I grabbed on, I could climb the bedspread, paw over paw, like a rope. I was huffing and puffing by the time I reached the top, but I made it! Sitting on top of the bedspread was the purple-and-pink striped pen Abby used to write in her diary. I gave it a big push and it rolled off the bed and onto the floor.
    After that, I scrambled over to Abby’s night table. There, I found her pink bracelet with ABBY spelled out in purple and white beads. I pushed that onto the floor, too.
    The next part of my mission was fun. I grabbed the edge of the bedspread and slid DOWN-DOWN-DOWN really fast!
    I was far from finished. Next I climbed all the way up Miranda’s bedspread to get to her gold ring with the pink stone, which I pushed onto the floor, along