Fun House by Chris Grabenstein Read Free Book Online Page B

twenty feet away.
    Ceepak and the short lady have to dodge my front bumper when I screech to a stop.
    “Hey,” I say as nonchalantly as possible when I climb out the Jeep. The engine is ticking, trying to cool down. My tires smell like it’s rubber-burning day down at the town dump.
    I notice Ceepak stealing a glance at his personal time control unit, what other people might call their wristwatch. His jawbone is popping and out near his ear again. I think he’s ticking and trying to cool down, too.
    “Danny?”
    “Yes, sir?”
    “When I was a Boy Scout, our troop leader encouraged us to operate on what he called White House time.”
    My face must say “Huh?” because Ceepak clarifies.
    “When invited to the White House, if you are not five minutes early, you are considered ten minutes late.”
    “Sorry,” I say.
    “This our rig?” says the lady with the rolling luggage.
    “Roger that,” says Ceepak. “Danny, this is Ms. Tory Wood. She is a sound technician, working for Prickly Pear Productions.”
    “Gimme a hand with this stuff, kid.” She pops open the rolling case. I see all sorts of electronic gear stowed in custom-cut foam slots. She pulls out a suction-cupped antenna, slaps it to the hood of my Jeep. “Put the recorder in your cargo hold. But be careful. That’s a Nagra Six.”
    “Okay,” I say, placing what looks like the high-tech gizmo into the back of my Jeep.
    “Ms. Wood will be recording Paul Braciole’s conversation with Skeletor,” says Ceepak.
    “Just the audio,” she says as she runs the antenna wire through the passenger-side window, heaves it behind the seats to where I just stashed her knob-covered recorder. “Paulie’s wearing a wireless mic. They all do, all the time. Stupid kids forget to turn them off when they hit the head, which they do an awful lot, seeing how they guzzle beer 24/7. I should mix together a bootleg compilation of their longest farts and pisses. ’Scuse me.”
    She says this, not because she’s “crude as oil,” as my Irish grandmother used to say, but because she’s crawling into the Jeep to go fiddle with her dials and slap on her headphones.
    “Are we getting video too?” I ask.
    “Roger that,” says Ceepak, gesturing toward a van parked three spaces away. Its running lights flicker. I wave to whoever’s behind the tinted windows.
    “That’s the ‘A’ camera,” says Ms. Wood, crouched in the back where I usually toss crap. Like the Styrofoam ice chest she’s using as a seat cushion. “I’m not sure where Rutger put ‘B’ and ‘C.’”
    Up arches Ceepak’s eyebrow. “B and C?”
    “Yeah. He likes to roll three cameras at all times, catch the action from three different angles. And since we can’t use the steadicam rig on this setup without blowing the shot.…” Now she holds up two small boxes with earbuds attached. “You guys want headsets?”
    “Come again?” says Ceepak, taking the audio unit and staring at it confusedly.
    “They’re wireless. You can hear what I hear.”
    Ceepak nods. We both jam foam buds into our ears.
    “You gentlemen are good to go. You better climb in. Here comes Paulie.”
    Ceepak takes the passenger seat. I slip in behind the wheel. Layla escorts The Thing out of the restaurant, into the parking lot.
    Back in the cargo hold, Tory Wood flips a switch and we hear Paul Braciole saying, “I need more fucking money. Juice is expensive.”
    “Here.” Layla’s voice. “But return whatever’s left to the prop department when we wrap the drug dealer scene.”
    Ceepak’s eyebrow inches up.
    I try to explain: “I think, you know, everything’s a scene from a TV show to Layla.”
    “I get to fucking eat later, right?” Paulie whines. “I want some of that fucking crab pie.…”
    “Ms. Wood?” says Ceepak.
    “Yeah?”
    “Have you set your recording levels?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Would you mind muting Mr. Braciole until our suspect arrives?”
    “Officer, it would be my pleasure.”
    She flips