Funeral with a View by Matt Schiariti Read Free Book Online Page B

music, trying to get some work done.”
    She smiled, small but
there. “So I heard. I thought my knuckles would bleed from trying to knock over
it.”
    “Sorry about that. Do you
want something to drink?” Do you want something to drink? What kind of
dumbass question is that?
    “Sure. Water would be
great,” she replied, voice soft. “Thanks.”
    So goddamn awkward. Her
tone betrayed nothing. She could have showed up to call things off completely,
to dump my ass in person, nice and official-like. I grabbed a bottle of water
from the fridge, thinking over what my mother had said.
    I have a good feeling
about this girl. Be a little patient and a lot strong.
    When I returned, she’d
situated herself on my couch, staring at the trippy screensaver on my monitor. My
hand, accentuated by fingernails shredded into pulpy stubs, trembled as I
handed her the water.
    “Thanks, Ricky.”
    I nodded. She’d called me
Ricky. Good sign, right?
    “Surprised?”
    Understatement of the
year. “Yeah, you could say that.” I stood a few feet away, not wanting to
crowd her.
    She unscrewed the cap,
raised the bottle to her mouth, and, as if thinking better of it, set it on the
coffee table. “I got your text.”
    “You did? I wasn’t sure.”
    I’d been wondering about
that. The ‘total communication blackout’ wasn’t so total. After my initial
phone call went ignored, I spent days replaying the conversation with my mother
in my head—over and over again, every day, every waking moment—until I was
completely sure about what I wanted. No matter what happened with the baby, I’d
be there for Catherine as long as she still had room for me in her life.
    As proof, Cat held up her
cell phone, the text I’d sent two weeks earlier filling up the screen: LOVE U.
HERE 4 U NO MATTER WHAT.
    “Look, Cat—”
    She held up a hand. “Let
me just get this out.”
    “Okay.”
    “When I asked if you were
still behind me, when you hesitated … It made me feel like shit, betrayed.
Maybe I overreacted. I know it was bad to dump it on you out of the blue like
that.” Her lower lip trembled. “But I’m so goddamn scared.”
    I moved a half step
closer. She played with a silver charm bracelet on her right wrist. I’d bought
it for her at a mom and pop jewelry shop down the Jersey Shore when we’d first
started dating. Two of the charms stood out from the rest: a capital C and R sandwiched a charm brandishing an ampersand.
    C & R .
    Catherine and Ricky.
    She spun the charms
around the bracelet with her slim fingers, eyes focused on the silvery surface.
    “Do you know how many
times I’ve looked at these charms in the past couple weeks, Ricky?” Probably
a shitload. “I can’t help myself. But no matter how much I cried, no matter
how angry I was, I couldn’t stand to take them off. Believe me, I thought about
it. Ripping the whole thing off and tossing it in the garbage crossed my mind a
few times. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
    And?
    “I’ve done a lot of
thinking,” she added.
    “Are you breaking up with
me?” I’d turned my back on her and I couldn’t see her face, but I could hear
the steady clink clink as she played with the charms.
    “No.” She sniffed “That’s
not what I want. I never wanted that, even when I was crying and hurting the
most.”
    Retrieving a box of
tissues from the kitchen, I handed them over as I sat down next to her.
    “Thanks.” She wiped at
her eyes. “I’m keeping the baby.”
    “I know.”
    She looked at me, the
unasked question burning in her hazel eyes.
    “I’ve been going crazy,
out of my mind nuts these past couple weeks,” I said. “Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t
sleep. About the only things I’ve been able to do are go to work like a drone
and piss off my neighbors. Mr. Jameson in particular.” That made her chuckle.
“I’m sorry, Cat. For letting you down, for hiding away when I should have been
there. But being without you made me realize one thing. I want to be