Galgorithm by Aaron Karo Read Free Book Online Page B

leans against the teacher’s desk. Ironic, since he’s fast becoming my student.
    â€œSo,” I say, “how was the Civil War exhibit? Romantic?”
    â€œIt was incredible. She loved it. I mean, it was a little awkward at first, because she assumed other people were coming. But once we got that out of the way, we spent like two hours together just walking around and talking. Did you know that nearly a dozen Union army dogs died at Gettysburg?”
    â€œNo kidding. So it was romantic.”
    â€œI know. And that’s not even the best part. After we finished walking around, she said she was hungry, so we got a bite to eat in the cafeteria.”
    â€œMr. K., that’s great! You’re killin’ it. You don’t need me.”
    â€œYeah, but here’s the thing. After we paid, I went—”
    â€œWait, what do you mean, after we paid?”
    â€œI offered to pay, but she insisted on splitting it.”
    I slap my forehead.
    â€œShane, I’m not an idiot. I offered to pay. She insisted .”
    â€œI don’t care if she tried to arm-wrestle you. Never, ever let the girl pay. No matter what, you always pay on the first date.”
    â€œOkay, I screwed up.”
    â€œYou should also pay on the second date and the third date, at the very least.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause it’s the right thing to do. Because it’s chivalrous. Because the girl is worth it.”
    Mr. Kimbrough absorbs this. I can’t help but regret that no one told me to always pay for Voldemort.
    â€œBut even if I do pay,” Mr. Kimbrough says, “how do I get that second date?”
    â€œYou mean you didn’t ask her out again at the end of the first date? That’s the optimal window right there.”
    â€œIt just kind of . . . ended. I don’t even think she thought it was a date.”
    I shake my head. “I need some time to think about it.”
    â€œThank you, Shane.”
    â€œBut there’s something you can try in the meantime. If you want.”
    â€œFor Deb, I’ll try anything,” he says.
    â€œGood. Let me ask you this—is there a time of day or time of week when Deb is always in a good mood?”
    Mr. Kimbrough contemplates this. “Well, off the top of my head, I’d say every other Thursday. That’s when we get our paychecks. She doesn’t get direct deposit. She just loves payday.”
    â€œPerfect. Then here’s your job: Wherever she is every other Thursday when she gets that check, you should be near her. Teachers’ lounge, front office, wherever.”
    â€œOkay. I can do that. Why?”
    â€œI know you don’t teach biology, but remember Pavlov? Whenever Deb gets good news, I want you to be close by. Eventually, she’ll associate you with good news.”
    â€œShane, that can’t possibly work.”
    â€œFine, you don’t want my help? I tried.”
    â€œNo, no, no, no, no. I’ll do it. I swear. I promise. I’m sorry.”
    I almost give him the “stop apologizing” speech but decide against it. I’m in a bit of an odd situation, because I’ve convinced Mr. K. that I’m not an expert, yet I’m still doling out advice. Hopefully, he won’t get suspicious again. As it is I’m on shaky ground: Although I’ve made it my mission to help high school guys find love, I’ve never helped a high school teacher before. Who knows if my methods will even work on adults?
    My worry, however, is interrupted by the constant vibrating of my phone. I’m now officially late, which means I’m on the receiving end of a barrage of emoji poop courtesy of Jak.

11
    JAK IS PISSED AT ME. I can tell because she’s running as fast as possible to get away from me. Unfortunately for her, we’re both on treadmills and she can’t get far.
    The plan was to meet up after school and then go to the gym. She only waited a few minutes