same exact color of mine, shine with tears as she tries to wrap her imaginary arms around me. Right now I don’t care if seeing her means I’m crazy. This is all I have left.
“Don’t you think that’s harsh? She and Sarah were close, closer than most sisters. Plus, this is Max’s house, he’s the one who says who stays or goes.” My father has been playing mediator between my mom and the rest of the world since the day they met. Or so my Pop has told me. Little does the rest of the world know, he’s just a pushover and would do anything she asks without much thought.
My mom huffs out a breath. “He can’t want her here, Jason! That little bitch had caused enough pain between Max and Sarah. Looking at her must be tearing him up inside!”
I know that’s not true. Sarah and I were different enough you could tell us apart, easily. “What is wrong with you? Your daughter just died and your other daughter is in horrible amounts of pain! You should be in there helping her through this, not trying to shut her out from the people who love her.” That makes me lift my head from my knees. Sarah just smiles at me and tries to brush my hair out of my face.
Then my mother growls, “I might have given birth to that girl, but that doesn’t mean she’s my daughter.” Then I hear a loud smack. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again. I swear to God I’ll divorce you and leave you with nothing.”
I rock faster, wishing with everything that they would just leave and I can go to the bathroom. If I can just get to the bathroom everything will be okay.
I block out their voices after that. I know he’ll back down to her and I’ll be left out in the cold before the day is through. I get up off the floor when I hear their footsteps head back downstairs. I slowly open the bedroom door and tiptoe to the bathroom.
When I’m done, I head back to my room and don’t even think as I start packing my stuff in my bags. I don’t want to leave. I know Max would put a stop to it. That thought makes me pause. Before yesterday he was the enemy but today he’s the hero. I don’t know how to take that.
I shake it out of my head and lift my bags from the bed after I’ve packed whatever I can into them. I slip my feet into my all black Converse and head out of my room.
And no matter what anyone says, that’s my room. The day Sarah and Max moved into this house, she pointed to that room and said it would always be mine. She never had one at my old place, but that’s because I knew she was secure with Max.
God I miss her so fucking much.
Everyone is in the living room when I enter. That’s probably not the right time to notice I’m only wearing one of Tate’s old shirts with boy short panties and no bra. The shirt is long enough, because Tate is way taller and bigger than me.
Several eyes pop out at me, including Tate’s. Looking at him after months of no contact is like getting punched in the fucking face. Hard. His face is covered in a few days worth of beard and his brown eyes are tired. His brown hair is hanging in his eyes and I want to pull it while he takes my mouth. I also want to knee him in the balls while breaking his face with my fist.
God this is the most horrifying thing that could happen to me right now. I should have seen it coming, considering he said he was flying in soon. I just thought I wouldn’t be here when he arrived.
Max is the first one who speaks. “Farah…where are you going?”
I blink my eyes and turn towards Max, who is sitting on the couch holding Blake in his arms. “Umm…I’m…shit.” I close my eyes trying to get my thoughts to form one whole sentence.
“Language, Farah,” my mom scolds but no one looks at her or says anything. They are all used to the way she talks to me. Nothing I do is ever good enough.
Max stands up and moves towards me slowly, like I might bolt with any sudden movements. That’s probably a good idea. “Why don’t I take you back upstairs? You
“Don’t you think that’s harsh? She and Sarah were close, closer than most sisters. Plus, this is Max’s house, he’s the one who says who stays or goes.” My father has been playing mediator between my mom and the rest of the world since the day they met. Or so my Pop has told me. Little does the rest of the world know, he’s just a pushover and would do anything she asks without much thought.
My mom huffs out a breath. “He can’t want her here, Jason! That little bitch had caused enough pain between Max and Sarah. Looking at her must be tearing him up inside!”
I know that’s not true. Sarah and I were different enough you could tell us apart, easily. “What is wrong with you? Your daughter just died and your other daughter is in horrible amounts of pain! You should be in there helping her through this, not trying to shut her out from the people who love her.” That makes me lift my head from my knees. Sarah just smiles at me and tries to brush my hair out of my face.
Then my mother growls, “I might have given birth to that girl, but that doesn’t mean she’s my daughter.” Then I hear a loud smack. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again. I swear to God I’ll divorce you and leave you with nothing.”
I rock faster, wishing with everything that they would just leave and I can go to the bathroom. If I can just get to the bathroom everything will be okay.
I block out their voices after that. I know he’ll back down to her and I’ll be left out in the cold before the day is through. I get up off the floor when I hear their footsteps head back downstairs. I slowly open the bedroom door and tiptoe to the bathroom.
When I’m done, I head back to my room and don’t even think as I start packing my stuff in my bags. I don’t want to leave. I know Max would put a stop to it. That thought makes me pause. Before yesterday he was the enemy but today he’s the hero. I don’t know how to take that.
I shake it out of my head and lift my bags from the bed after I’ve packed whatever I can into them. I slip my feet into my all black Converse and head out of my room.
And no matter what anyone says, that’s my room. The day Sarah and Max moved into this house, she pointed to that room and said it would always be mine. She never had one at my old place, but that’s because I knew she was secure with Max.
God I miss her so fucking much.
Everyone is in the living room when I enter. That’s probably not the right time to notice I’m only wearing one of Tate’s old shirts with boy short panties and no bra. The shirt is long enough, because Tate is way taller and bigger than me.
Several eyes pop out at me, including Tate’s. Looking at him after months of no contact is like getting punched in the fucking face. Hard. His face is covered in a few days worth of beard and his brown eyes are tired. His brown hair is hanging in his eyes and I want to pull it while he takes my mouth. I also want to knee him in the balls while breaking his face with my fist.
God this is the most horrifying thing that could happen to me right now. I should have seen it coming, considering he said he was flying in soon. I just thought I wouldn’t be here when he arrived.
Max is the first one who speaks. “Farah…where are you going?”
I blink my eyes and turn towards Max, who is sitting on the couch holding Blake in his arms. “Umm…I’m…shit.” I close my eyes trying to get my thoughts to form one whole sentence.
“Language, Farah,” my mom scolds but no one looks at her or says anything. They are all used to the way she talks to me. Nothing I do is ever good enough.
Max stands up and moves towards me slowly, like I might bolt with any sudden movements. That’s probably a good idea. “Why don’t I take you back upstairs? You
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