Girl, 15: Charming but Insane by Sue Limb Read Free Book Online Page A

and perhaps even learn a thing or two about Ben Jones’s secrets. Maybe, who knows, Ben Jones himself might appear – virtually, that is. His profile name was apparently Six Toes. Jess wondered if he really did have six toes. Would she ever get to see his feet? She was sure they would be fragrant and sacred, not smelly like other boys’ feet.
    Jess rang Flora. ‘Guess what! I’m Home Alone. Wanna come over?’
    ‘Oh, wow, yes!’ said Flora. ‘And shall I see if I can bring Mackenzie and Ben Jones?’
    ‘What, seriously?’ A thrill ran down Jess’s spine. ‘Wow! Bring it on!’ she cried. ‘Yes per-leease! But the place is a complete tip!’
    ‘Great!’ answered Flora. ‘If it’s a complete tip already then there’s no danger of us making a mess, is there?’
    Jess rang off and looked around in a panic. She was supposed to be doing her homework. But in less than an hour Ben Jones might be sitting right there on her sofa! His divine bum would leave an imprint so sacred, nobody would ever be allowed to sit there again. But could she transform herself into a thing of beauty in less than an hour? Could she design herself a pair of eyebrows that would break his heart for ever? She could but try. She seized her tweezers and uttered a faint prayer for supernatural help. After all, she had eaten most of a religious cereal bar at lunchtime. She hoped such heroism had not gone unnoticed by those above.

Chapter 9
    Amazing! Unbelievable! Mackenzie and Ben Jones were sitting on her sofa! Really sitting there, in flesh and blood! Mackenzie was cute, with dark curls and a dangerous smile. Ben Jones was blond, silent and charismatic. This was so the most exciting moment of Jess’s life so far.
    ‘Wanna Pepsi?’ she asked.
    ‘Got anything else?’ asked Mackenzie. ‘Pepsi makes him fart.’ He nodded towards Ben. Ben groaned and thumped him. This was certainly a romantic start to the evening.
    ‘Haven’t you got a beer or something, Jess?’ asked Flora, looking quite annoyed at Jess’s painful lack of style.
    ‘No. Sorry. My mum doesn’t drink, and we never get wine or beer in unless we have visitors we’re trying to impress,’ confessed Jess. ‘We haven’t had any vodka in the house since the prime minister dropped by.’
    There was a silence. The boys looked blank. Ben waggled his feet and stared at them. Jess was terrified. It was going to be a disaster.
    ‘My parents have got a wine cellar,’ said Flora.
    ‘Wow! Ace! Wicked! Let’s go there, then,’ said Mackenzie.
    ‘We can’t!’ yelled Flora in panic. ‘My parents are at home.’
    The boys looked disappointed.
    ‘I can’t offer you the crystal chandeliers and champagne of Flora’s place,’ remarked Jess, ‘but that kind of stuff is so Last Century. Nowadays everybody’s into dry toast and tap water. It’s kind of, you know, Buddhist.’ Ben looked puzzled. Mackenzie looked bored. It had been a mistake to mention Buddhism.
    ‘Remember last Christmas?’ said Mackenzie. ‘We went round Carter’s and raided his dad’s bar? Man, did he booze! He sploffed his fozza with a Red Stinker.’
    Jess sighed. Boys had a language of their own. They could be talking about drink. But it could equally be a reference to sport, or a video game. Or even war. This evening was beginning to be a bit of a disappointment, conversation-wise. Ben was apparently incapable of joined-up speech. And Mackenzie was talking in Hungarian.
    Jess began to rewrite the dialogue in her head, à la Jane Austen.
    ‘Good afternoon, Miss Jordan, Miss Barclay,’ said Sir Benjamin Jones, with a distinguished bow. ‘May we expect the pleasure of your company at the ball at Netherbourne next month?’
    ‘So what have you got to drink, Jess? Apart from Pepsi?’ demanded Flora rather irritably.
    ‘I think I may have some chocolate milkshake,’ said Jess, secretly aware that it was probably past its sell-by date.
    ‘Yeah! Ace! Milkshake! Wicked!’ shouted Mackenzie. ‘Gimme