God's Little Acre by Erskine Caldwell Read Free Book Online Page A

house, leaving Pluto alone in the yard to change the tire. He had already got the punctured tire off the wheel, and he was getting ready to put the spare on and tighten the lugs. He worked away in the heat, not mindful of the fact that Griselda and Darling Jill had left him alone in the yard.
    When he had finished and had replaced the jack and lug wrench under the seat, he stood up and tried to dust his clothes. His face and arms were covered with dirt and perspiration, and his hands were grimy. He tried for a while to wipe it off with his handkerchief, but he had to give that up when he saw how hopeless it was. He started around the house to the well in the back yard where he could bathe his face and hands.
    Pluto reached the corner of the house without raising his eyes from the ground. When he got to the corner, he looked up and saw Darling Jill in the yard.
    First, he stepped back for a moment; then, he stepped forward again and looked at her the second time. After that he did not know what to do.
    Griselda was sitting on the top step at the porch talking to Darling Jill. She had not looked in Pluto’s direction. Darling Jill was standing over a large white enameled tub that had been hurriedly carried to the yard from the house and placed halfway between the porch and the well. She was busy talking to Griselda and soaping her arms when Pluto saw her.
    It was at that moment when Pluto realized fully where he was. He did not wish to turn around and leave, but he was afraid to go closer.
    “Well, darn my socks!” Pluto said, his mouth agape.
    Darling Jill heard him and she looked at him. She paused with the soapy washcloth on her shoulder, and looked even more intently than before. Griselda turned to see what she was staring at so long.
    For a while, Pluto thought that perhaps Darling Jill was trying to stare him out of countenance, or perhaps drive him back around the house, but he had remained there several minutes already, and he did not know what she intended to do. He was determined, after having stood there that long, to make her take the first move. Darling Jill did not attempt to run from his sight, and she did not try to cover herself with the washcloth or with anything else. She just stood over the white enameled bowl, staring at him.
    “Well, darn my socks!” Pluto said again. “And that’s a fact.”
    Darling Jill reached down into the bowl with both hands and, picking up all the suds she could hold, threw the soapy froth at Pluto. Pluto, only a few feet away, saw the suds coming towards him, but he could not force his body to move in time to escape them. By the time he finally moved a few steps, the soap was already stinging his eyes and running down the collar of his shirt. He could not see a thing. Somewhere in front of him he could hear both Griselda and Darling Jill laughing, but he was unable to protest. When he opened his mouth to say something, he tasted soap all over his tongue, and the inside of his mouth tasted just as disagreeable. He bent as far forward as he could and tried to spit out the taste of the soap.
    “That will darn your socks,” he heard Darling Jill say to him. “Maybe you’ll think twice the next time you try to slip up on me while I’m naked. What can you see now, Pluto? See anything, Pluto? Why don’t you look at me now—you could see something if you did!”
    Griselda laughed at him again on the steps.
    “I wish I could take a picture of him now,” she said to Darling Jill. “He would make a pretty picture to show the voters on election day, wouldn’t he, Darling Jill? I’d call it the ‘Soapy Sheriff of Wayne County Counting Votes.’ ”
    “If he ever tries to slip up on me again while I’m naked, I’ll duck him in a tub of suds until he learns to cry ‘Uncle’ in three languages. I never saw such a man in all my life. He’s always trying to put his hands on me and squeeze something, or else trying to sneak up and grab me while I’m naked. I never saw such