Goodnight Mind by Rachel Manber Read Free Book Online

television. If you live with someone, ask that person to help you stay awake.
    Rule 2: Avoid Wakeful Activities in Bed
    If you want your bed to become a strong cue for sleep rather than a cue for sleeplessness, your bed must be associated with sleep, not wakeful activities. So anything that you would normally do when awake should not occur in your bed. This includes using the computer, texting, talking on the phone, playing games, reading, watching television, eating, or any other activity that will signal wakefulness to your body in bed.
    You may be wondering, Does having sex count as a wakeful activity? The answer to this question may depend upon how you typically feel about sex and after sex. Is sex, for you, an activity that is more often relaxing or invigorating? If after sex you feel sleepy, then perhaps sexual activity can be an exception to the rule. If after sex you feel alert (or if it is highly unpredictable whether you will feel alert after sex), you may want to explore having sex earlier in the day and in locations other than where you sleep. Or you may opt to make sex an exception to the rule anyway.
    Many people have routines that they associate with relaxation, such as reading or watching television in bed. You may be reluctant to give up such habits. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind when deciding whether to make a change.
    First, you may feel as if such habits help you relax; however, if you find yourself wide awake once the lights are turned off or once your head is on the pillow, then whatever relaxation you had is gone. Instead, you are now in a state of alertness. This is not to say that habits such as reading or watching television are not relaxing or that they need to be eliminated from your routine. Relaxation is an important part of getting a good night’s sleep. Just move these habits out of the bed, and preferably out of the bedroom.
    Second, you may not need to banish these activities forever. Given that you are reading this book, right now you probably experience sleep problems, but the tools we present will help rid you of them. When your sleep problems are under control, you may experiment with putting a previous habit back into your routine. (After all, you probably know people who read in bed yet sleep well. Perhaps as you begin to sleep well you will be able to join their ranks.) If you find that your sleep problems return, move wakeful activities back out of your bedroom and see whether your sleep improves again.
    Rule 3: Be in Bed Only When Asleep (or Very Close to Sleep)
    It makes sense that if your bed is to become a signal for sleep, you must pair it with sleep over and over again. The way to do this is to be in bed only when sleep is imminent. This means go to bed only when you feel sleepy . For many people with sleep problems, this advice is complicated because they often feel extremely tired but not sleepy . By sleepy, we mean “about to fall asleep.” Feeling sleepy is different from feeling fatigued, feeling tired, or having low energy. By being in bed only when you are sleepy or asleep, you will un-train your body (and mind) from associating your bed with being awake and train it to associate your bed with sleeping.
    It is possible that, when you first begin following this rule, you will have several nights of poor sleep. Fortunately, you have a natural system in your body that will make up for the sleep loss with deeper sleep (see chapter 3), and, ultimately, you will start sleeping better. You need to be strategic and be willing to accept a poor night or two, so that un-learning that your bed is associated with sleeplessness can happen and you can sleep better for many nights to come.
    Rule 4: Get Out of Bed at the Same Time Every Day
    If you want your body to know that when you are in bed, you should be asleep, you should set aside the same time each and every night for sleeping. However, because the rule above is that you are not to get into bed until your body