Goofballs 4: The Mysterious Talent Show Mystery by Tony Abbott Read Free Book Online Page B

to a smile, “this is an awesome theater. It has a backstage, a fog machine, a music room, and a costume shop, and even a catwalk!”
    “I don’t have a cat,” said Kelly. “But if I did, could I walk it here?”
    Mrs. Tabitha Rinkle laughed again. “No, no, dear! A catwalk is a walkway for the stage crew. It’s high above the stage. See?”
    We looked up. The catwalk was a skinny bridge way up behind the main curtain.

    “Now, there will be two acts in our show,” Mrs. Rinkle said.
    “That’s a lot,” said Billy Carlson.
    “Act one is the talent show,” Mrs. Rinkle continued. “Act two is a play. Let’s start with act one talent auditions. Tiffany Flynn?”
    We all stood aside as Tiffany clacked to the center of the stage and clicked on a CD player.
    First music started.
    Then Tiffany started.
    To dance.
    Sort of.
    Her right foot tapped like crazy.
    Tappa-tappa-tap-te-tappa-tap!
    Her arms flew all around like wings. But her left foot didn’t move an inch.
    It sat like a lump of stone glued to the stage.
    “One of her feet doesn’t seem to be working,” Mara whispered.
    Tappa-tappity-ta-tappppp!
    Tiffany bowed suddenly, and her dance was over.
    “Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!” Mrs. Rinkle said, using what we would soon learn was her favorite word. “Next is Billy Carlson.”
    Billy bowed. “I call my act ‘Taming the Wild Snake.’ ”
    He swished his rope back and forth on the floor in front of him. “Oh, no. A wild snake. Watch while I tame it.”
    Billy pulled the rope up. It hung limply in his hands. “Thank you.”
    “Write this down, Jeff,” whispered Kelly.

    “I shall now tell a series of jokes,” Joey Myers said with a bow. “Here I go. Why did the farmer drive a red truck with a green steering wheel?”
    “Why?” we asked.
    “Because it was a long way to town. Why is the sky blue?”
    “Why?” we asked.
    “Because all the other colors were taken. Why do restaurants serve food?”
    “Why?” we asked.
    “Because barber shops are too busy. Why did the elephant sit down?”
    “Why?” we asked.
    “Because it was a long way to town. Why were the twins named Henri with an
i
and Henry with a
y
?”
    “Why?” we asked.
    “So their mother could tell them apart. Thank you.”
    When Joey walked off, Violet carried her big pink tuba to the center of the stage and slid herself into it.

    “In the hands of a master,” she said, “the tuba can meow like a tiny kitten.…”
    BWAAAAP!
    “It can play a military march.…”
    BWAAAAP!
    “It can also play a soft lullaby.…”
    BWAAAAP!
    I wondered if Mrs. Rinkle would ask the Goofballs to search for all the missing talent. But she just laughed and said, “Awesome!”
    Then it was our turn.
    “I’ll be singing a song,” Kelly said.
    “What is it called?” asked Mrs. Rinkle.
    “It doesn’t matter,” said Kelly.
    “I’ve never heard that song before,” Mrs. Rinkle said.
    That’s because
no one
had heard that song before.
    Not even Kelly.
    Because she made it up as she sang it.
    I’m on a big stage …
    There are seats out there …
    My neck kind of itches …
    I have blond hair …
    “Lovely rhyme. Thank you, dear,” said Mrs. Rinkle.
    “But there’s a second verse!” said Kelly.
    It’s way after school …
    I like watermelon …
    Polar bears are white …
    My name’s not Ellen …
    We all clapped before Kelly could sing the third verse.
    “Now … Brian,” said Mrs. Rinkle.
    All at once, I heard something snap. I spun around to see Brian with the balancing stick from my backpack. He had snapped it in half and was snapping the pieces in half again.
    “What are you doing?” I screamed.
    “I need a couple of very short sticks,” he said, breaking the pieces in half one more time. Now they were tiny slivers.
    “But that’s half my act!” I cried.
    “Don’t worry, Jeff,” he said. “My act will completely knock their socks off. While everyone runs home for new socks, we’ll find another stick for