Great Apes by Will Self Read Free Book Online

Hampstead and round up some suitors for them himself.
    But by the same token, as his reign as alpha male had extended, first to five, then to ten and now to almost fifteen years, so the fusion of the group had come to seem as important to him as its fission. At times, such as now, whentwo and possibly even three of the Busner females were in oestrus simultaneously, Zack accepted the influx of male group members with good grace. Even though he would find himself having to stump up for air fares for those of his adolescent wards who insisted on flying back to London from Bali, or the Côte d’Azur in order to mate endogamously.
    When this happened the house would be packed to the seams with chimps of all ages, perhaps thirty in all, squabbling, scrapping, grooming and copulating. But it all made for the kind of good-natured rambunctiousness that Busner associated with his group, and he took it in his stride – even early in the morning.
    The first chimp Busner noticed was Charlotte, the alpha Busner female, who was crouched on the flight of three stairs that separated the eating from the cooking area of the room, being mated by David, the gamma male, with his characteristic extreme nonchalance. David hadn’t even troubled to discard the morning paper before effecting penetration, and Busner saw that he had it folded open on the ledge of Charlotte’s back, and was scanning the leader page whilst thrusting. A gaggle of infants was trying to get in the way, leaping on David’s back and shoulders.
    Busner could only recognise one individual, his youngest infant Alexander. Spunky kid, he thought, for Alexander, although only two, had managed to get hold of the light fixture which dangled over the two trembling bodies, and was hanging from it by one arm, his tiny frame gyrating while he kicked David in the muzzle.
    Busner took in the rest of the room with a glance, infants chucking second-breakfast bowls of sloes and custard applesabout, sub-adults moodily and sulkily grooming each other in the corners, a couple of young mothers suckling, a couple of others up in the eating area preparing more second-breakfast bowls. The whole scene was well lit by the sunlight streaming in from the open french windows that let on to the garden, and through which a pair of the ubiquitous Busner lap ponies now trotted, tossing their heads and neighing reedily.
    â€œHoooH’Graa’!” Busner pant-hooted, and drummed a little on the doorjamb, as befitted his status. He signed to Paula, one of his younger daughters, that she should prepare his second breakfast, then swaggered over to the mating pair, his fur half-erect.
    On his arrival in the doorway the other adult males of the Busner group had all pant-hooted, saving David who was squealing his way towards climax. As the patriarch traversed the room all the members of his group, old, young, male, female, presented to him, and upon each of them he bestowed a touch of tenderness and hortatory greeting, here a kiss, there a caress.
    There was a loose queue of males trailing down from the cooking area, more or less in correct dominance order, Henry behind David, Paul behind Henry. Busner wondered idly why David had been allowed first crack at Charlotte, but then as he rounded the breakfast bar at the top of the short flight of stairs, he saw that Dr Kenzaburo Yamuta, the distal-zeta male, was vigorously mating his daughter Cressida by the dishwasher, while Colin Weeks and Gambol awaited their turn.
    â€˜Morning “chup-chupp”, Zack,’ Kenzaburo signed, withdrawing from Cressida. ‘Fancy a “huh-huh” fuckhere?’
    â€˜No, no,’ Busner signed in the process of delivering an affectionately brutal cuff to David, ‘I’ll just – “huh-huh-huh” ‘ – he broke into a satisfied pant as he smoothly entered Charlotte, who pushed herself backwards to ease him into her still further – ‘give the old