strong. There is an armoured gate about four metres wide just behind the plant, which is how I’m guessing people get to the agricultural fields. They’re out there somewhere; I’ve just never bothered to ask where, or even wondered for that matter. Like I said ― curiosity isn’t outlawed. It’s just not encouraged.
I shrink from the sight of the fence and scurry back up the dirt track in a crouch until I feel I’ve put a safe enough distance between myself and the compound. When I see the shanties growing from tiny brown smudges to actual dwellings on the horizon, I relax a little. The Colosseum looks foreboding to me now, even from here. It soars up out of the city like an ugly broken tooth, making me feel uneasy. My whole life it has been the place where I went to carry out my work, but now it’s the place where I’ve killed people. Lots of people. The place Cai died.
I hurry back through the city, mindful to keep my head down and avoid eye contact with the multitude of people going about their business. Instead of taking the walkway by the river to get home, I opt for the backstreet. Seeing the spot where Caius and I used to sit and discuss our training, thrust our feet in the water, won’t make me feel well at all. My birth mother is waiting for me when I slip through the back door into the kitchen, and she gives me a stiff nod.
“Where have you been?”
“With Penny,” I answer.
“All this time?”
“Yes.” My first calculated lie. “She wanted me to teach her about the matches.” This isn’t too far a stretch of the imagination. Lots of Elin are intrigued by the fighting, and most of them even seem to have a bit of a bloodthirsty streak. My birth mother has been with me when I’ve been stopped in the street before, when Elin want to rehash a certain move I may have pulled in my last fight. She doesn’t question my response, just goes back to chopping carrots for dinner.
“Good. I hope she learned everything she needed to know,” she says.
I nod, but really I doubt Penny learned anything from our meeting. If anything, I’m the one who’s learned much today. I’ve learned some of Cai’s biggest secrets. I’ve also learned there’s no way I’m getting out of this city.
BELCORAS
“Aren’t you really hot right now?” my brother asks. We’re waiting outside the Colosseum where we’re supposed to be meeting one of the Falin Belcoras to organise a training schedule. I have no idea which one of the Belcoras it will be. There are seven or eight of them, I think, and they all look the same. I glance at my brother and shake my head even though sweat is pouring down my back.
“No. Why do you ask?”
“Because you’re wearing your jacket and it’s zipped up tight.” He reaches for the zipper that is, indeed, drawn all the way up underneath my chin, and I slap his hand away.
“I think I’m still a little sick. You probably shouldn’t touch me.” This has the desired effect, and my brother puts some space between us. There’s no way I can walk around the Sanctuary without my jacket right now, not without someone noticing my halo is almost entirely free from my neck. I woke up before sunrise this morning with it making an odd ticking noise. It took a full hour for it to stop, and I laid there with my heart thrumming in my chest while I panicked that it was going to start working again.
That’s what I’ve decided ― that I’m not ready for it to start working again . Yet . I keep telling myself I’ll only leave it a few more days before I go and see the technicians. Until then, I have to cover my neck.
I have Cai’s holostick with me. It’s not safe to leave at home, but I feel inconceivably guilty walking around with it on my person. It practically burns a hole in my back pocket, and yet I have absolutely no idea why. It could contain anything inside. It could contain nothing at all. At this rate I’m never going to find out, because I’m too scared to try