Hard Going by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles Read Free Book Online Page A

he asked, puzzled. ‘You don’t think his flat is big enough for two?’
    ‘Who says they’d even live there? She may want him to live in her house. Or they might want a new place entirely. And wherever they end up, don’t you think it’s certain to mean he’s not available, at least on the old basis, for babysitting?’
    Now Slider saw it.
    She went on, ‘We’ve been spoiled, having him here and on tap at any time of the day or night. He cancels his plans at the last moment for us, stays on when we’re late back, and never a word of complaint.’
    ‘But he loves doing it. He loves having time with George.’
    ‘Whether he does or he doesn’t, we’ve become dangerously reliant on him. And what about when the new baby comes? He’s not getting any younger, and two is a lot more than twice the work of one, especially when one of them is about to hit the terrible twos. I just don’t think we can afford to blithely assume everything’s going to go on the same way.’
    He saw all the problems lined up ahead, along with the delicate emotional minefields through which a way would have to be picked. His dad, of course, would protest that he loved taking care of his grandchildren, and being of the polite generation he would say it whether it was true or not – which was the problem with extreme politeness. It was hard to know where you stood. On the other hand, the suggestion that he was not up to the task might hurt his feelings; while on yet another hand the assumption that he was automatically free to babysit as if he had no private life of his own could mine yet another rich seam of hurt and resentment.
    But what Slider saw most immediately was that Joanna was already tired and fraught and the last thing she needed was to start worrying about childcare this far ahead of the game.
    ‘We’ll sort something out,’ he said. ‘Don’t start worrying about it at this stage.’
    She looked at him sidelong. ‘Have you any idea what childcare costs these days? Even if there were childcare to cover our particular set of fractured circumstances. Neither of us works a nice tidy nine-to-five.’
    ‘We’ll work it out,’ he said firmly. ‘People do, all the time, all over the world. Even if it’s a juggling fest. It’s worth it, isn’t it?’
    There was a brief pause during which his blood ran cold. He was afraid she was going to say, we should never have had this baby . In the end what she said was not much better. ‘Worth it, even if it means I have to stop playing? Because that’s the bottom line, isn’t it? My career isn’t as important as yours.’
    ‘I’ve never said that.’
    ‘But that’s what it’ll come down to. I’ll have to give up playing and take a job that will fit round the childcare.’ She made a grimace. ‘Giving violin lessons in the sitting room.’
    He managed not to say that lives went through different phases or that lots of people enjoyed teaching and found it rewarding. ‘We’re a long way from that point yet,’ he said instead, ‘and we may never reach it. If Dad and Lydia do get together, they might both really like babysitting, have you considered that? Two for the price of one.’
    She shook her head at him. ‘Oh Bill! What is all this chirpy Dalai Lama optimism? “Everything’ll be all right, everything’ll be fine!”’
    ‘It will be. Trust me,’ he said. ‘Never trouble trouble, till trouble troubles you.’
    She began reluctantly to smile. ‘Jiminy Cricket, that’s what we should call you.’
    ‘No, that was conscience – a different sort of getting into trouble.’
    She put her mug aside and turned to him. ‘Well, why don’t we try that sort instead, just for a change? I’m already pregnant, you can’t make things worse. Enjoy the free ride while you can.’
    He put his own mug down and kissed her tenderly. ‘Nothing about this is trouble,’ he said, hand on her bump. The world he inhabited by day was a variously unpleasant and hostile place, and