that always made Will feel like an outsider looking in. Joy radiated off her, like warmth from the fire on a cold winter’s night, and Will felt an almost envious stirring, as if he wanted to stretch his hands out and catch some of her effervescent happiness. Dragging her bonnet off her head, she’d tilted her face up to the rain as it wet her lips, her eyelashes fluttering against her pale cheeks, and Will had almost fallen off the roof as he strained to look.
Women made him uncomfortable at the best of times. His own mother had sold him once it became clear he was verwulfen, and the only other woman in his life had been Esme. After a year or so of her presence at the warren, he’d started to relax around her, but everything about Lena set his hackles on edge. A curious, uncomfortable feeling that he didn’t understand. With a vampire stalking the rookeries, he’d been in charge of keeping an eye on the younger Todd siblings and protecting the house at night. Every day he’d followed Lena to work and then home again, without her even knowing. He complained about it to everyone he knew, but the truth of it was that he began to relish the moments when she’d appear at the door of the clockmaker’s, giving a cheery little wave back into the shop. In the grim reality of Will’s life, Lena became the one bright spark, a yearning for something he’d never had or felt before.
It was safe for him to feel that way. She was a stranger still, no threat to him, nor he to her. It wasn’t until he came face to face with her that he’d realized how different reality might be. Stepping out onto the roof one night in her nightgown, of all things, Lena had stared at him as if he were some hulking brute, darting a swift glance at the window she’d come through.
With his palms sweating and his throat tight, Will had been unable to speak. Then suddenly the words had come, blunt and awkward. “ You wouldn’t make it in time ,” he’d said. “ And if you couldn’t avoid me, then you couldn’t avoid it either. Are you stupid, girl, to come out here with the creature on the loose? Or just wantin’ to die? ”
The worst thing he could have said, for her eyes had narrowed and she’d drawn herself up as if she were a queen and he the lowest of street scum.
She made him feel like the small, helpless boy that nobody had wanted—nobody but Sturrett, who’d seen a way to make coin off him. Will had sworn he’d never feel that helpless again, but seeing her always threw him into a maelstrom of emotion, and even now the hungry, angry part of him was restless. His beast, prowling like a caged wolf inside his chest.
Can’t let it out.
Can’t ever let it out .
“You don’t need to do this,” he said bluntly, as she bustled around the kitchen. “I can manage by meself.”
Lena unpinned her hat and tossed it carelessly on the bench, followed by her gloves. The hint of smooth skin and manicured nails drew his eye. She’d touched him once with those hands and he’d never forget it.
“You always need food after one of your episodes.” Humming under her breath, she began to ladle soup into a bowl.
“It weren’t an episode.” His tone was far sharper than he’d intended and she stilled. Cursing himself, he continued, “I only get shaky when I’ve exerted meself, or lost too much blood. It’s just the virus, healin’ me. This is different.”
“Honoria told me to feed you.” Despite her studied nonchalance, she was nervous. Of him. He could smell it. “You can argue with her if you want. I’m not going to waste my breath.”
When he said nothing, she went back to ladling the soup.
“Didn’t know you knew your way around a kitchen,” he said, simply to chase the uneasy silence from the room. “They teach that in them fancy drawin’ rooms?”
Dark eyes looked up over the bowl. She seemed genuinely surprised he’d asked a question. After spending the last three years trying to ignore her, there was little