Heartbreaker by Maryse Meijer Read Free Book Online Page B

blond streaks from being out in the sun and he keeps his thumbs hooked inside his jeans. He’s a surfer and normally I hate surfers but he’s kind of amazingly hot and I ask Char what she thinks and she shakes her head and says he’s too white for her. I want a Mexican, she says, and laughs. Mexicans are fucking hot.
    You are so racist, I tell her. The surfer guy gets a muffin and a coffee and he looks at Char and I spill my drink on purpose so it gets on Char’s shorts and she screams What the fuck, Jessica! And the guy looks away and I can’t help but laugh.
    *   *   *
    At one point I’m home and watching TV and I’m like Did you find your wallet? All bored and flipping through the channels and he says No, it’s a real bitch having to cancel all the cards and get new ones and he keeps talking and I just go Uh-huh. Later when we’re eating frozen burritos he asks me what’s wrong because my face is all blotchy from crying and he seems like he really wants to know so I tell him that Char might be moving at the end of the year because her parents want her in a different school for people who are smart like her and it’s really far away. Well she needs to focus on her education, Jessica, he says, trying to be all practical about it, and I stop eating and say Don’t you get it she’s my best friend and he goes Well if you tried you could make more friends instead of just moping around with that look on your face and your ass on the couch. What do you care, I say, and then he looks at me sort of funny and says I do care, and I don’t say anything back, just eat another burrito.
    *   *   *
    After he puts the TV on and I know he won’t hear me I put on my hoodie and leave out my window. I put the ring in my pocket and head downtown. It’s a long walk but it’s still light and Kessler’s doesn’t close until seven.
    I’m there when she gets off work. I’ve gone through half a pack just waiting for her to get done cleaning up or whatever. When she walks out she has a big black coat on. Two security guards are with her and they look at me for a second but then say good night to her and start walking away. When she turns toward the parking lot I step in her path and say Hi, you don’t remember me maybe but I got a ring here last week for my mom. I say You were right about the ring, it was just what she wanted. The shop lady looks startled but she smiles, that’s how she is, she’s polite. I’m glad, she says, and then we both just stand around, me chewing on my nails and her just looking like she doesn’t know what to do. Finally I say Hey listen, do you think we could get a cup of coffee, it’s really cold, I know a good place right there across the street, but the look on her face is all wrong and what I’ve said is stupid, I know, because it’s like I’m asking her on a date when that’s not what I mean at all. Well, it’s really late, she says, I don’t think so. And like some idiot I start crying and she’s like What, what’s wrong, but I can’t say what, and now the woman is taking a step back, she has this expression like she’s kind of sorry, but her sorriness is slipping and something else is taking its place. I’m sorry, she says, but I have to go, and then she makes as if to touch my shoulder and I, I don’t know, I scratch her, on her wrist, scraping my nails against the bracelet she has on, some kind of gold cuff. Both our eyes go wide. She doesn’t make a sound, she just turns and walks away really fast and I yell something after her, something lik e You bitch , which doesn’t make any sense because she isn’t a bitch, she isn’t anything bad I could call her, she is the nicest person I know.

 
    THE FIRE
    She started out tiny, blue, a skinny flame flashing into the world with a hungry little sizzle. I gazed at her