for one really weird video that caught her attention. It was a video called âBeautiful Sadness,â by a long-haired poet type. In the video he was searching for a woman who was trying to evade him. Then the roles were reversed and he was running from her. In the end, he was submerged in this gross pool of green algae and black ooze and, after he had disappeared, she rose up out of it and walked away. Really weird. No poetry in English class had been quite like this. The feeling of the song haunted her. How could anyone see any beauty in the sort of sadness that she was feeling? Is this what it feels like to be truly alone and abandoned? she wondered. The video only made her feel more sorry for herself. She fell asleep on the sofa.
***
Sunday morning: work at the nursing home. At least sheâd have Emma to talk to. The only problem was that Emma had gone away for the day to visit her son. It was a long, boring and lonely day on the job. Mrs. Klein stopped by, but Tara had a hard time being polite. She didnât like Mrs. Klein much, especially after sheâd hassled Jenn. Tara almost said what she was thinking, but had the sense to keep her mouth shut.
As soon as work was over, Tara caught the bus downtown and made the circuit: library, Black Market, Tim Hortonâs, Starbucks, Second Cup, Trident Café, even the hangouts on Spring Garden Road. Everyone had seen Jenn around, but not lately. It was a warm evening and a good night just to walk. She went down to the harbour and watched the ferry coming in from Dartmouth. As she watched it pull in to the dock, she focused on a slouching figure standing on the top deck. It was Jenn. Tara thought this was strange. She didnât know Jenn spent any time in Dartmouth, across the harbour. Then she noticed a big guy standing beside her: someone older with baggy clothes and sunglasses â a white guy with that gangsta-wannabe look. Rob?
Tara walked over to the doors to the ferry terminal. She watched as the two of them emerged. The guy went one way and Jenn went the other. Tara waited a moment then called out, âJenn!â
Jenn turned. âTara. God, itâs good to see you.â She turned away quickly, looking for her former companion, checking to see that he was out of sight.
âThatâs him?â Tara asked.
âThatâs Rob. What do you think?â
Tara didnât know what to say. Maybe Rob was a great guy. Maybe he just looked like a hip hop poser. She shrugged.
âI know, I know. Not a whole lot to look at, but heâs okay. Iâve moved in with him.â
Oh no. Here we go again, Tara was thinking.
âIn Dartmouth,â Jenn added. âHeâs got a little apartment above a bar on Portland Street.â
Tara could just picture what kind of a dump that must be, but she kept her thoughts to herself. âIâm glad youâre here. I really need someone to talk to.â
âYou need to talk to me?â
âYeah.â
âGreat. Letâs go sit by the water.â
They sat down by the harbour edge, watching the crabs, the fish, and the seaweed in the clear water beneath. Tara told her about Josh.
âSo whatâs the big deal?â Jenn wanted to know. âYou were about to dump him. He saved you the trouble.â
Tara wished she could explain exactly why it didnât feel like a happy ending.
âFind another guy. No big deal.â Typical thing for Jenn to say. Guys came in and out of her life like the tide in the harbour.
Tara was feeling better just being around her friend, just having said what needed to be said. âTell me about Rob.â
âWhatâs to tell? Itâs not the romance movie of the week, but you got to remember whose life weâre talking about here. Unlike you, I donât usually end up with the smartest, best-looking guy in the school.â
âIâm sorry. Itâs just that you know I worry about you. I donât want to