Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger Read Free Book Online Page B

the most anyone should have to cope with in a lifetime.
He considered that he had ended up with the right sister, after all, and was thankful. He stood smoking, and thought about other ways things might have turned out. By the time Jack reentered the dining room he felt steadier, almost cheerful.
Wonderful substance, nicotine.
     
    Edie was sitting very straight in her chair; the twins each leaned forward, elbows on the table, chins in hands, Valentina listing sideways as Julia said, “But we never met her; why would she leave us anything? Why not you?”
    Edie regarded them silently as Jack sat down in his chair. Julia said, “How come you never took us to London?”
    “I did,” Edie replied. “We went to London when you were four months old. You met your grandmother, who died later that year, and you met Elspeth.”
    “We did? You did?”
    Edie got up and walked down the hall to her bedroom. She disappeared for a few minutes. Valentina said, “Did you go too, Daddy?”
    “No,” said Jack. “I wasn’t too popular over there then.”
    “Oh.”
Why not?
    Edie came back holding two American passports. She handed one to Valentina and the other to Julia. They opened the passports, stared at themselves.
It’s weird to see new baby pictures.
The stamps said HEATHROW AIRPORT, 27 APRIL, 1984 and O’HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, JUNE 30, 1984. They traded and compared the photos. Without the names it was impossible to tell which twin was in each photo.
We look like potatoes with eyes,
Julia thought.
    The twins laid the passports on the table and looked at Edie. Edie’s heart beat fast.
You have no idea. Don’t ask. It’s none of your business. Just let me be. Let me be.
She stared back at them, poker-faced. “Why didn’t she leave it to you, Mom?” asked Valentina.
    Edie glanced at Jack. “I don’t know,” she said. “You’d have to ask her.”
    Jack said, “Your mother doesn’t want to talk about it.” He gathered the papers that were strewn across the table into a stack, tapped the bottom of the stack against the table to align it and handed it to Julia. He stood up. “What’s for breakfast?”
    “Pancakes,” said Valentina. They all stood, all tried to segue into the normal Saturday-morning routine. Edie poured herself more coffee and steadied the cup with two hands as she drank it.
She’s frightened,
Valentina thought, and was frightened herself. Julia walked down the hall doing a little dance, holding the will over her head as though she were fording a rising river. She went into their bedroom and closed the door. Then she began jumping in place on the thick carpeting, her fists pounding the air over her head, shouting silently,
Yes! Yes! Yes!
     
    That night the twins lay in Julia’s bed, facing each other. Valentina’s bed was rumpled but unused. Their feet were touching. The twins smelled faintly of sea kelp and something sweet; they were trying out a new body lotion. They could hear the settling noises their house made in the night. Their bedroom was dimly illuminated by the blue Hanukkah lights they had strung around the wrought-iron headboards of their beds.
    Julia opened her eyes and saw that Valentina was staring at her. “Hey, Mouse.”
    Valentina whispered, “I’m afraid.”
    “I know.”
    “Aren’t you?”
    “No.”
    Valentina closed her eyes.
Of course not.
    “It’ll be great, Mouse. We’ll have our own apartment, we won’t have to work, at least for a while; we can do whatever we want. It’s, like, total freedom, you know?”
    “Total freedom to do what, exactly?”
    Julia shifted onto her back.
Oh God, Mouse, don’t be such a mouse.
“I’ll be there. You’ll be there. What else do we need?”
    “I thought we were going back to college. You promised.”
    “We’ll go to college in London.”
    “But that’s a year from now.”
    Julia didn’t answer. Valentina stared into Julia’s ear. In the semi-dark it was like a little mysterious tunnel that led into Julia’s