Her Rugged Rancher by Stella Bagwell Read Free Book Online Page B

he’d had no trouble sticking to that sensible choice. Whenever he got to feeling like Jack, and the urge to go on the prowl for a woman hit him, all he had to do was think about Camilla. Remembering all the lies she’d told doused his urges even better than a cold shower.
    â€œI guess the cabin seems pretty crude to you,” he added.
    â€œI wasn’t thinking about the cabin,” she told him. “I was wondering if you ever get lonely.”
    For most of his thirty-five years, Noah had been lonely. As a kid, he’d had buddies in school, but he’d never been able to invite them to his house for a meal or a simple game of catch in the backyard. Not that he would’ve been embarrassed by the Crawfords’ modest home situated on the poor side of the tracks. Most of his friends had been just as impoverished as the Crawford family. No, it had been his parents’ violent arguments that had ruined his chance to be a normal kid. And later, well, he’d let himself trust in another human being and ended up learning he couldn’t depend on anyone to stick by him. Not even a good friend.
    â€œI don’t have time to get lonely,” he lied. “Every morning I leave here before daylight and usually don’t return until dark. That doesn’t leave me much time to pine for company.”
    It wasn’t until he’d put the lid back on the grill and risen to his feet that she said, “It must be nice to be that contented with your own company. I’ll be the first to admit I get lonely.”
    He grimaced. “You should have stayed in your brother’s house. With all those kids there’s never a dull moment.”
    She shrugged. “I was getting in the way.”
    â€œJett didn’t want you to move out. I don’t suspect Sassy did, either.”
    â€œBoth are too nice to admit they were sick of Aunt Bella being underfoot—” she smiled wanly “—but I figure you probably understand how it feels to be, how should I say, standing on the outside looking in.”
    Noah had to choke back a mocking groan. She, or anyone else, couldn’t possibly know how he’d felt as a child. His parents had barely acknowledged his existence. They’d been too busy trying to tear each other down. And later, his grandfather had only been interested in getting him raised to an age where he could kick him out into the world. Yeah, Noah knew all about being on the outside. But Bella didn’t need to know everything about his broken childhood, or the years that had followed before he’d finally settled here on the J Bar S. She’d probably feel sorry for him, and he didn’t want that from her, or anyone else.
    He sank back into the lawn chair. “I understand, Bella. More than you think.”
    She sighed. “While I was married and living in Reno I never imagined I’d ever be calling the J Bar S my home. I expected to stay in the city and raise a family with Marcus. Now I’ve been here nearly six years and Jett is the one with the family. I’m not a mother, but at least I’m a lawyer,” she added wryly. “Guess I should be thankful all these years haven’t been totally wasted.”
    So in spite of her ex-husband deceiving and hurting her, she still she wanted a husband and family. He couldn’t decide whether she was a glutton for punishment, or a very brave woman.
    â€œLooks to me like you’ve had a pretty successful life so far,” he replied. “A person has to learn to appreciate the blessings they have, instead of always wanting more.”
    From the corner of his eye he could see her frowning. The expression was much easier to deal with than her smiles. As long as she disapproved of him, the less likely he’d be to lose his senses around her.
    â€œHmm. You’re saying I should be satisfied with what I have?”
    He turned his head to look at her. “Well, you have a lot