Makarov. But I knew we would have to have this conversation at some point, and it was better to get it over with now rather than delay it until it became even more awkward. Nodding, I led him into an empty exam room and closed the door.
Turning towards him, I raised an eyebrow and put my hands on my hips, waiting for him to speak. The same hesitant, unsure look flashed across his face for a split second. The expression made him look vulnerable and, though I didn’t want to admit it to myself, slightly adorable. This strong, powerful, handsome man was nervous with me. What was happening?
I closed my eyes and shook my head, attempting to rid myself of such thoughts.
“Well?” I said eventually, opening my eyes to glare at him. “I don’t have all day.”
“I know,” he said. “I just… I wanted to talk about what happened the other day.”
“Umm, I’d rather not.”
“I think we need to talk about it.”
“Look,” I began, “what happened the other night—it was the worst mistake of my life. I would like to pretend like it never happened. We can just go on like normal. Okay?”
For a briefest moment, Makarov’s entire face changed. He looked nearly crestfallen. I almost felt bad, but as quickly as it had appeared, the expression was gone—replaced by his usual confident grin.
“You didn’t seem to think it was such an awful experience at the time. In fact, the way you moaned and thrashed beneath me suggested something completely different.”
I sucked in a breath. Images of that night flashed across my mind, and I could feel my body responding. I was growing wet and could sense the fire building between my legs. I shook my head again, willing myself to forget it. Willing my traitorous body back under control.
I don’t want this, I reminded myself. I don’t want him!
“Look,” I said after I’d gained some composure, while trying to discuss that night with the most professional and detached wording possible. “We both know that the incident was a mistake. We don’t even like each other.” ( Or do we? Oh, stop it, Michelle! ) “And let’s not forget that you’re basically my boss. I will admit that in that moment, the feelings expressed and acts committed were mutual and consensual. But they were a mistake, and I would like to forget them. Don’t worry. I’m not going to sue for sexual harassment or anything.”
“I wasn’t worried about that,” he replied, still smiling. “I just… I realized I wasn’t wearing a condom. I wanted to make sure everything was taken care of—and assure you that I am clean.”
“Oh. Okay. Good,” I replied. “I got tested yesterday, but that takes a load off of my mind. If you’re sure.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” he answered. “I have great health insurance.”
I tried to bring myself to laugh at his lame joke, but I just couldn’t find any humor in the situation. There were too many emotions warring inside me at the moment. I thought about telling Makarov that everything wasn’t quite taken care of—that the Morning After Pill wouldn’t work on me and there was no way to know if I was pregnant for another two-three weeks. But that would be pointless. Even if I were pregnant, there was no way I would be keeping the child. Telling him would only complicate matters.
“And I am too,” I said instead. “Clean, I mean. I’d been tested since my last… time. Before the other night, that is.”
“Good then,” he replied. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Nope,” I agreed. “It will be like it never happened.”
“It never happened,” he repeated. The look in his eyes was now most definitely crestfallen.
“Then we’re done here,” I stated, moving towards the door, not sure what to think of his newfound vulnerability. “We never have to see each other again.” There was really no reason that I could think of that our paths might cross in the future.
“Except you’re still helping me review cases,” he replied, one eyebrow