Highland Groom by Hannah Howell Read Free Book Online Page B

walked toward her, undeterred by how she retreated before his advance, for she was backing up toward the bed. "I wanted a woman in my bed and a mother for my bairns. Aye, I also sought a sweet, biddable lass."
    "Of course. Instead, ye got one ye dinnae trust as far as ye can spit."
    "Probably nay e'en that far. Howbeit, until the truth is revealed, ye will do for what I seek."
    "Ye have a true skill at wooing a lass, dinnae ye."
    "I dinnae need to woo ye. Ye took vows afore a priest. Those vows say ye will share my bed when I wish it. Shall we leave the marriage unconsummated then?"
    She frowned. "It has been consummated. A year ago."
    "Nay in the church's eyes."
    Ilsa felt the bed against the back of her legs and tensed. She had thought she would be given time to consider the best way to deal with Diarmot, with this marriage he so clearly resented. During the tense evening meal in the great hall, he had not revealed any inclination to be her husband in even the smallest way. Now he was demanding his husbandly rights. He might not have had a change of heart, but he had obviously had a change of mind.
    If he truly had lost his memory, he had a right to be suspicious and act as if he were the one wronged, but that fact did not make his attitude any less irritating. Nor did it soften the pain she felt. Since he did not believe her, he was insensitive to her own turmoil and sense of injury. She had been deserted, had had to hunt him down, and had found him about to pledge his troth to another woman. Unfortunately, since he was in no mood to even consider the possibility that she told the truth, he had no understanding of how hurtful he was being now.
    It was unfair, but Ilsa realized she was going to have to prove her trustworthiness. Since Diarmot claimed to have no memory of their time together, she was now a stranger to him. Instinct told her he would do his best to keep a wary distance between them. If she did the same, their marriage would quickly be doomed. Here, in the marital bed, there might be some chance of reaching him, of softening his bitter mistrust. Yet, to lie with a man who thought her a liar and a threat seemed wrong, would surely leave her feeling used, even shamed and humiliated.
    Suddenly, she realized one reason she hesitated was because she was afraid.
    What if his passion for her had died along with his memory? What if he had truly loved the woman he had been about to marry? She had seen little sign of any true affection between them, but conceded that she could easily have blinded herself to such a thing. It was difficult enough to accept that he no longer cared for her, whatever the reason was for that change.
    _What to do? she_ thought, struggling to keep her mind clear as he began to toy with her hair again, his fingers brushing against her neck, shoulders, and face. Beneath all the pain and sense of insult she suffered, she still loved him. Her passion for him seemed undimmed by his rejection. Her desires and needs were oblivious to his lack of trust, his suspicions, and the fact that he intended to use her to satisfy his manly needs without love, without even much hint of liking. He was not using sweet words to get her into bed, but the dictates of the church and his rights as her husband.
    "Ye simply mean to use me as ye would use some whore," she protested, placing her hands upon his chest in a vain attempt to push him back at least a step or two.
    "As my lawful wife. There is a difference."
    "Nay in your mind."
    She suddenly realized that he had partly unlaced the front of her shift. She clutched the opening tightly shut with one hand and glared at him. It was time to decide aye or nay, to join him in bed or find some other place to sleep.
    There was no denying that the vows she had just exchanged with him meant he had rights to her body. She desired him and suspected he desired her. There was a look in his fine eyes that she recognized from when he had been wooing her. So why not indulge herself,