Hold Me Close (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 1) by Miranda Banks Read Free Book Online

the hell? He always came inside. Then he asks her out and damned if he doesn't start acting like a weirdo.
     
    She wanted this date to be real. But the way he was acting made her feel like maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe he hadn't meant it the way she'd taken it.
     
    “So,” she said, and paused and waited to see if he would say anything.
     
    “I should probably get back,” he replied. “It's late.” He shuffled his feet around and wouldn't really look at her.
     
    “Right,” she agreed, knowing damn well that he was there much later most nights. “Thanks for the beach.” She smiled.
     
    Johnny looked up at her and returned the smile while nodding. “Anytime.”
     
    “So we are going out tomorrow?” she questioned.
     
    Her breathing was shallow. She was anticipating the answer, half hopeful and half doubting.
     
    “Sure,” he replied half-heartedly. “What kind of friends don't leave the house?” He smiled at her as her heart sank. “So I'll see you then. Sleep good, Beth.” He turned and walked towards his bike without even looking back and Bethany managed to get inside before the tears began to fall.
     
    ***
     
    Johnny pretended that he didn't watch her go inside. He acted as though their evening out the next night was nothing more than a couple of friends hanging out. He just failed to mention the part where he wanted to ravage his friend each and every time he looked at her.
     
    Beth had been hurt. He saw the pain flicker inside her eyes. But wasn't it better to hurt her now? Would it not be easier to be disappointed in what didn't happen than to be heartbroken over what did? It wasn't a date. It couldn't be a date.
     
    Johnny didn't have what it took to be with a woman like her. Dan had it. He'd been able to enjoy some fun times and still be the great husband she deserved. Until he died.
     
    She didn't need to lose two men. And Johnny knew without question she would lose him. The only fucking thing he had the ability to commit to was the gang. Dan. The guys. And even in that he was flaking off lately. Because of her. Fuck that. He wasn't going to do to her what he knew would happen. He'd rather she be hurt now.
     
    The clubhouse stood out in the distance and Johnny debated what to do. Should he go inside, fuel up on whiskey, and take another club girl to bed? Or should he go back home and sulk over the woman he wanted and would never allow himself to have?
     
    The decision seemed easy as he turned into the parking lot. He needed to be numb. That's all. He needed to not feel what he was feeling. He knew a few ways to do that, and as he saw a sexy little brunette heading towards the entrance, he realized the two of them were right there in the same place.
     
    ***
     
    “Let's go out.” Steph sounded excited by the idea as she spoke to Bethany. “We haven't done it in ages.”
     
    The guilt trip. Everyone did it. They reminded her constantly that she had been a recluse for a long time. Of course she had. Her husband was murdered. She didn't want to do the normal shit. She wanted to grieve.
     
    Or spend time with Johnny. Whatever the truth was. It didn't matter. Heading to a bar at that moment was the last thing she needed. What she craved was for her best friend to stop by with coffee and chocolate so they could sit and talk for hours.
     
    Steph had a different agenda. She'd been single for a good three months and she was tired of being alone. The bar seemed a great place to meet a guy. Her plan was to get drunk and find the man of her dreams.
     
    Beth's plan was to get drunk and try and forget the man of her dreams. Or the second man of her dreams. However it worked out.
     
    “Sure. I need an hour to get ready,” she said. “But I've got a better idea,” she finished
     
    “What's that?” Steph asked.
     
    “How about the clubhouse?” Beth offered.
     
    “The club?” Steph sounded almost appalled. “Are you serious?”
     
    “Look, we can drink. There are guys. Some