Hold on My Heart by Tracy Brogan Read Free Book Online Page A

decorate it. I thought we might go through those boxes together.”
    “You want me to move home so I can do work and unpack for you?” More accusations.
    “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. See, Dr. Brandt? This is what happens. I say one thing, and she hears something completely different.” He’d meant to stay calm, but frustration sharpened his tone.
    The counselor’s expression remained enigmatic as she gazed at him and then his daughter.
    “Rachel, I think what your father means is that he’d like to have a shared experience with you of going through the boxes. Is it the labor of unpacking that bothers you, or the fact that the boxes are full of things that will remind you of your mother?”
    Rachel sat up straighter. “I see reminders of her all over the place. I live with her parents, remember? They have pictures everywhere, and some of her old clothes and stuffed animals. I can even sleep in her bed if I want to. I don’t need to go through boxes with him to help remember my mom.”
    Tom felt a hot flush of comprehension. That was something he hadn’t thought of before. Of course Rachel would feel closer to Connie surrounded by her things. At the farmhouse, they hadn’t built any memoriestogether as a family. His wife’s presence wasn’t there. There hadn’t been enough time.
    Dr. Brandt seemed to reach the same conclusion. “It’s important to keep those memories close to your heart, Rachel. You can cherish them, but you can’t hide in them. Do you think your mother would want you sleeping in her old bed, or would she want you to go live with your dad?”
    Rachel’s jaw lifted again. “Well, it would be nice to ask her, wouldn’t it? Except we can’t—because she’s dead.”
    The caustic words, flung so carelessly, were a gut punch to Tom. She wanted to wound him. She wanted to remind him that everything they were going through was entirely his fault. He’d been driving the car. If not for his mistake, Connie would still be alive.
    It was the only thing he and his daughter agreed on.



CHAPTER
five
    “O f course I miss you. What kind of a question is that?” Seth’s voice was mildly reassuring over the phone, but Libby couldn’t shake the sense he was drifting away. Her job loss had hit hard, and maybe she hadn’t been that easy to live with because of it, but she was making an effort to be a kinder, gentler version of herself.
    She shut the door to her bedroom and sat down on the twin-sized mattress that had been hers since she’d grown out of her crib. Being back at home still felt like a visit, but she’d been there for almost six weeks. It didn’t look like she’d be heading back to Chicago any time soon. Or that she’d be seeing Seth in the immediate future, either. Her stomach felt queasy, as if it were full of polliwogs, swishing around and bumping into one another.
    “It’s a logical question. I haven’t talked to you in days.” She meant to sound sad, but it came out cranky.
    “Baby, I’m working my ass off in San Diego, and there’s the time zone thing.”
    “It’s a two-hour difference, Seth. It’s not like you’re in Australia.” Now she
did
mean to sound cranky.
    “I don’t usually get back to my hotel room until midnight. You want me to call you at two a.m. your time?” A sharp spike of irritation stabbed into his tone, too.
    She stared at the tape marks on her walls from spots where ’N Sync and Goo Goo Dolls posters had once hung, back when life was simple and easy. “I guess not. I’m just really frustrated. I miss you, and I miss my job.”
    “I know. I’m sorry. Any luck on the job front?”
    Libby drew in a breath, about to tell him all the details of her last interview, hoping he might cheer her up and nudge away the boulder of doubt pressing down against her shoulders, but the soft clickety-click of keystrokes on a keyboard stopped her.
    Seth was typing. He wasn’t even listening to her. This was the first phone call they’d had