Holding On by A.C. Bextor Read Free Book Online

mix of words “blinding” and “sightseeing” but I have
no other way to describe this feeling.  His mouth is on mine
actually no, his mouth is devouring mine.  I grab his cut and pull him even
closer to me if that’s possible.  I taste, feel, see, and hear
nothing but Shame.  He doesn’t even have to pry my mouth open
as he invades every part of it.  I’m not even attempting to
dismantle him off of me, not that I could right now because all of
my body wants to be his.  On him, with him, underneath him.  I
have just finished taking my masochistic mental snapshot before he
pushes me away. Harshly.
    “ God
Dammit, Mace!  I have to stop. You should be making me stop.
 Fuck!”  Wait, he’s mad.  At me?  What the
hell?  
    “ Say something.”  He
commands, but I can’t.  My body is frozen, still holding on to
his cut as if I would let it go causing the moment to never have
happened; I’m grasping it so tight my knuckles are white.  I
don’t know what to say or think.
    I’ve waited so long for
this moment and I have played and replayed it in my head and that
is the only comparison that I have, and I was wrong.
  Nothing compares to how I feel right now staring into those silver
blue eyes.  I’m tingling in places I know I should feel guilty
about. I’m also so overwhelmed.  But lastly, I’m relieved.
 Because it is everything I ever thought it to be, only more.
 
    “ Greyson, oh God Shame,
Greyson.  I have to call him; he will be worried if he hasn’t
heard from me by now.”
    “ The fuck?”  He’s
livid.
    My brain to mouth filter
have left the building, along for the ride it takes my common sense
and manners.  What the fuck am I even doing in this situation with Shame?
  Get bag, scratch Ace’s eyes out, leave Club, and take
Sadey home.  That is all I had to do.  Check. Check.
Check. Check.  Nope, not me.  Open mouth, insert foot.
 Score!
    Dammit!  I need to fix
this.
    “ I’m sorry, I don’t... I
just...”  Lord, now I’m stuttering?  Sexy.
    “ Go
away, Mace.” He says sounding like he’s just bored of me.
 Just take Sade home and go running to call Greyson .  I’m going
inside, maybe Hem is through with Kegs and I can have a turn.
 Sometimes a little pussy variety is what is needed to forget
that people aren’t always what you want or expect them to be.” He
turns and walks away.  I’ve officially been
dismissed.
    My heart cracks.  Shattering in
my chest.  I’m left standing alone, speechless.  What
could I say really?  Can’t blame him for throwing that at me.
 I just didn’t want it to hurt so badly.  I head back to
my car, knowing I have left my bag inside.  Doesn’t matter.
 I can’t breathe, I want to enjoy the mental snapshot of my
kiss with Shame, but can’t.  The hurt I saw in his eyes when
he said ‘Greyson’.  What have I done?  I waited years to
feel Shame against me and all I could mumble afterwards was that I
needed to call my fiancé so he doesn’t worry?  Shit.
 
    “ What’s wrong, Mace?
 You look sick.”  
    Sadey has finally pulled it together
and appears calmer than when I left her.  Thanks to my mad
skills in being Ace’s cock block, she’s going to be okay.
 However, the men in my life have just ruined the evening for
us both.
    Bastards.

Chapter
Three :
    “ The only thing that could spoil a day was
people. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the
very few that were as good as spring itself.”
    --Ernest Hemingway
    It has been two weeks since the night
I felt Shame hold me against him.  I haven’t seen him or heard
from him since, not that I’m surprised.  I’ve relived that
evening again and again while lost in thought but I’m sure he has
filed it away and forgot all about it.  Probably did what he
said he was going to do and went to find Kegs.  Hem has been
avoiding my questions regarding that night.  He won’t talk to
me about his display for Sadey or if Shame has mentioned