over her pants.
Her mother was an impeccable dresser, a woman who took pride in her appearance and her demeanor. For years Keysa had wondered how her father’s family could think any less of her just because she didn’t come from a family with money.
“I know it happened years ago. But it’s important for me to know why it happened. I want to hear your side of the story.”
“As opposed to the version your father has already given you?” she asked her voice echoing with a touch of chilliness.
“Yes, as opposed to what he told me.”
Mary took a deep breath then looked at her daughter, tilting her head slightly. “The answer is yes, Keysa. I loved Bernard, with all my heart. He was everything I’d ever imagined I’d have in a husband. And it wasn’t because he was rich. It was because he was good and kind and he loved me.”
“Then why did you leave? What did his family do to make you turn against him?”
Her fingers flexed, curled and went still on her thighs. She wore no rings, hadn’t in years. But her nails were perfectly manicured and a simple gold bangle hung on her right wrist.
“You may not believe this but I am sorry for what I put you through. I sit here sometimes and I think of how the events played out and I wish I could go back and do it all over again.” She shrugged. “But I cannot.”
“Would you have stayed with him?”
Tears filled her mother’s eyes and Keysa left the chair she’d sat in alone to join her mother on the couch, taking Mary’s hand in hers.
“I would have let our love prove them wrong.”
“Were they mean to you?”
“No,” Mary shook her head. “Never. It was just a feeling I had when I was around them. At their elaborate parties or even at family dinners I just felt out of place. Like I shouldn’t have been allowed in their space at all.”
“But they never told you that you didn’t belong, did they?” Keysa asked even though she knew the answer, had known for years.
“I was young, Keysa. And I had my own demons to put away. I didn’t think things through before I acted. I didn’t think of you and how my actions would impact you. I was selfish and I was wrong.” Mary sighed. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
Keysa shook her head. “No. I just wanted to hear that you loved him and that he loved you in return.”
Mary nodded. “Yes, we loved each other very much. I regret that I didn’t believe in that love enough, that I didn’t grab hold of that happiness when I should have. And I’m sorry for all the pain that action has caused you.”
Keysa’s eyes were blurring too as she reached out to hug her mother. “I know you are,” she whispered.
And she did know. For once in her life Keysa knew that what her parents had was true and that maybe, just maybe she could have that type of love too.
Her mother was running late for work when they exited her apartment building. Mary went her own way promising to call when Keysa returned. Keysa, went to the curb to hail herself another cab. She wanted to hurry home and call her father. This Christmas she planned to spend with her Donovan family.
***
A cab came fairly quickly and Keysa climbed inside her mind ticking down all the things she had to do before leaving town for the holidays. It wasn’t until the cab came to a stop that she realized she hadn’t said a word to the driver. She looked out her window and was surprised to see that the cab was parked right in front of her house.
“How did you know where I lived?” she asked sitting up in the seat and looking at the driver.
She could only see the side view of him, but recognized the scruffy beard instantly.
“Just had a feeling,” he said with a shrug. “No need to pay me. Think of it as a gift.”
“A gift?” Keysa said as she opened her purse anyway. It was the same old man that had picked her up earlier this morning. What were the odds of that happening? More to the point, there was no way was she taking two free fares
Ellen Datlow, Nick Mamatas