pen down. âWhat kind of stuff?â
I opened the fridge and took out a carton of milk. âWent to Universal Studios, took the tram tour. Can I take this?â
She didnât say anything, just nodded then looked down at her books. âI saw the most horrible thing on Oprah today.â
âHmmm?â
âThey had a story about a woman whose car was stolen and her baby was still in the backseat. She tried to grab the baby but the car sped off, her child still hanging out, attached to the car seat. She watched her child being dragged along the side of the road.â
âThatâs a repeat.â
Lynette pursed her lips. âStories like that make you put your life in perspective,â she continued. âMakes you realise how lucky you really are.â
âJust another day for you and me in paradise.â
She examined me through her thick black lenses. âHave you done something to your hair?â
âItâs pink.â
âSo it is. Do you like it?â
âI just love it.â
âGood. As long as youâre happy.â
I leant over her casebooks. âWhat are you working on?â
âItâs a murder case,â she said as she scribbled something on her notepad. âItâs gang-related.â
âCool. Got any crime scene photos?â
She put her pen down and adjusted her glasses. âHilda, I find your fascination with murder a little disconcerting. This is a very sad and horrific crime.â
âBut you said it was gang-related.â
âSo?â
âSo then he probably had it coming.â
âLife isnât as black-and-white as that, Hilda. Itâs not fair for you to judge other people when you have no idea what theyâve been through, the social and economic circumstances they were born intoââ
âAll right, you donât have to give me a sermon. Iâm not the jury.â
âThank God for that.â
âAnyway, youâre the one obsessed with murder, not me. You made a career out of it.â
âIâm not obsessed with murder, Hilda. Iâm helping people.â
âCome on, just one lookââ
I tried to slide one of the case folders away with my finger but Lynette snatched it back.
âNo, Hilda. Trust me when I say you are better off not seeing this.â
I had never viewed any of Lynetteâs case files. She kept them under lock and key, never once made the mistake of accidentally leaving one out. Did she have any idea what I had access to on the internet?
âYouâre probably right,â I said. âWouldnât want to warp me now, would we?â
I was halfway out of the room when Lynette spoke again. âYou know, we could feed a third-world country with the amount of dinners Iâve made for you and youâve never eaten. Itâs very wasteful.â
âIâm not hungry.â
âAnd I suppose you got everything you needed at the Connorsâ house?â
âNo, Iâm just not hungry,â I lied, my stomach still full of chocolate chip cookies.
âWell, I hope youâre more grateful to Mrs Connor than you are to me. Iâd be very embarrassed if you werenât.â
I went back over to where Lynette was sitting and gave her a kiss on the forehead. âSorry.â
âNext time call.â
âOkay!â I yelled over my shoulder as I left the room, taking the milk carton with me.
SIX
John Belushi once said that happiness is not a state you want to be in all the time. I knew what he meant. He was talking about the uncontrollable urge to fuck it all up, the desire to put a knife in the toaster of existence just to see what would happen. To put a bomb under your blessings and watch them blow sky-high, swan-dive off the precipice and give in to the free fall.
Belushi had it all: money, fame, a wife, a home. But he didnât want to live in the safety of these creature comforts. He wanted to