Hollywood Lust by M. Z. Kelly Read Free Book Online Page B

of the film industry. I’d toured the place when I was in elementary school and knew it was located in a converted movie theater built in the early days of Hollywood.
    As I pulled up in front of the museum, I saw that the establishment’s name was on the marquee in front of the art deco building. Natalie and Mo were standing in the forecourt where replica stars from the Walk of Fame were embedded. Standing between my friends was a large subject who was wearing a Chewbacca costume.
    “Nice company you’re keeping,” I said, coming over to them with Bernie.
    “Glad you could make it,” Mo said.
    Natalie left her hairy companion for another hairy companion—Bernie. As usual, she gave my big dog lots of attention. Chewbacca, maybe upset that he’d been upstaged, disappeared back into the museum.
    Mo went on, “The owners think the thieves could strike again and we wanted your take on how they might be getting in.”
    “I’m glad to help out,” I said, noticing the glass cases with antique movie posters on the walls surrounding the ticket booth. The place felt like I’d gone back in time to a movie theater from the 1940s.
    “We got us our own personal tour guide,” Natalie said, waving a hand and turning toward the entrance.
    I saw there was an elderly woman waddling out of the museum. She was less than five feet tall, with short gray hair that she wore in a bun. For a moment, I thought she might be Nana, but she looked even older than our former landlord, if that was possible.
    “This here is Gladys,” Natalie said, introducing the woman. “She’s the original owner of the museum.”
    We exchanged hellos before Gladys demonstrated she could swear like a sailor, telling me what she had planned for the thieves who broke into her place. “When you catch the fuckers who stole my stuff, I’m gonna string them up by their balls and rip their hearts out.”
    Mo said, “Gladys don’t take no shit. I like her attitude.”
    It was obvious that Mo and Gladys had a lot in common.
    I said to the elderly museum owner, “Why don’t you show us around? Maybe we can figure out how they got in.”
    Gladys ambled back toward the museum entrance. “I hope you brought your gun. I want you to shoot the bastards when we find them.” She waved a hand and we followed her inside.
    Bernie and I spent the next half hour wandering around the public portion of the museum with our tour guide and my friends. The one-time theater housed exhibits with memorabilia and information about all the major stars.
    Gladys explained how the museum got its start. “I started collecting movie posters when I was just a kid. Back then, after they filmed a movie, they either threw stuff out, or just gave it away. I started hanging around the back lots of the studios and got a lot of stuff for free. It eventually turned into all this.” Her brown eyes drifted up, taking in the displays. “Not bad for an old woman who didn’t have a pot to piss in when she was younger.”
    “I’d say you’ve done very well for yourself,” I said, at the same time hearing Natalie calling over to us.
    We went over and saw there was an exhibit that offered a virtual display of how you would look if you had Marilyn Monroe’s hair and body. Natalie couldn’t resist the opportunity, and we watched as her face was superimposed over the actress’s features on a movie screen.
    “I think maybe I’m a natural Marilyn look-alike,” she said.
    There was some resemblance to the movie star. “I agree, but I think you’re much better looking.”
    “You’ve got a lot of potential,” Gladys told her. “I might even let you try on a couple of Marilyn’s dresses one of these days.”
    Natalie clapped her hands. “Hope you got that one from The Seven Year Itch . We can use a fan and blow air up me privates.”
    Gladys’s wrinkled face became even more pinched. I had the impression that she didn’t know what to think about Natalie.
    Mo couldn’t resist borrowing the