Honest Love by CM Hutton Read Free Book Online Page A

me.”  I lifted my head and squared my shoulders.  He was still holding my wrists and I let him. 
    “First of all, never have I thought ‘poor Claire.’  I think I would like talking about all my shitty things with you because it might make me feel, less angry.  I don’t really talk to anyone about it.  The guys I hang out with don’t give a shit and Melissa is sick of it, so don’t be embarrassed.  Okay?”  Derek’s hands slid down into mine and squeezed.
    “Thank you.  I’m afraid to ask you how much Melissa told you.”  I wanted to look away, but I was mesmerized by the caring look on Derek’s face.  My brain took over and started talking.  “I had to sit and watch everyone protect Kaye…everyone but my son and hers, too.  Those boys stepped between two grown men, one being my own husband, to stop a fight over a woman that wasn’t me.  It was necessary because Rob was out of control and had hurt her.  I mean, he gave me this nice little scar on my cheek.”  I felt Derek’s hands tighten around mine, shaking me out of my monolog. 
    “Claire…” Derek’s low, menacing growl had me quickly clarifying what I’d just blurted out.
    “Sorry, I should have said it was an accident.  I got in the way of Rob’s elbow as he was about to knock the shit out of Jake.  He didn’t even realize I was standing behind him.”
    Derek let go of one hand and ran his it through his short hair.  “I don’t know what just came over me, but hearing that, even if it was an accident, has me wanting to go beat the hell out of both of them.”  His voice was still strained.  I let out a small laugh and instinctively ran my thumb across his hand.  We both looked down at our hands at the same time.  I smiled and tried to release his hands, but he didn’t let go. 
    “Thank you for saying that.  I appreciate it.  Makes me feel better, but it’s all over now.  We’ve all moved on and I’m working to not let the past corrode my future.  Even talking to Jake is okay.  I saw what pain he went through when he thought Kaye had lost the baby and I hated seeing him hurt.  Stupid, I know, especially after all he did to me, but I’m not that person.  I never have been.  I hurt and I feel, but I don’t dwell, at least I try not to for the most part.”
    “You’re an amazing woman, Claire.  Sometime in the near future, you are going to have to tell me just how it is that you can be so friendly to him .  And I don’t know the baby story you just mentioned.  Maybe it will change my opinion of the guy, but I highly doubt it.”
    “I’m just doing what works for me.  Might not be how other people would handle things, but it has helped me to survive.”  I paused.  “I’ll tell you that story some other time.  It was pretty insane.”
    Derek smiled, lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it before letting it go.  “Again, amazing.” Oh.  Dear.  God.  I was totally smitten.
    I swallowed, trying to reel in my shock and asked, “Does your ex just pop up in places or what?”  I didn’t want to pry, but I was curious and wanted the focus off of me.
    “Yes, sometimes.  I hate it and she knows it, too.  It’s a power play for her, to see if she still has her foot in the door with me.”  His whole body shifted uncomfortably.  I studied him for a minute and could see clearly that Derek’s ex-wife still had a stronghold on him.  I didn’t like it.  Whether it was my own pride or misplaced protectiveness for my new friend, I didn’t like that a woman who had hurt him so badly could still have his attention whenever she wanted it.  There had been a point in time when someone could have said the same about me.  I was Derek.  I just wanted Jake to listen to me, pay attention to me, love me more than he loved Kaye.  But I’d hit that wall and stopped giving a shit about what Jake wanted.  I chose to take my life back.  I was going to hurt regardless.  I could’ve kept