Honeymoon Hazards by Ben Boswell Read Free Book Online Page A

back then --”
    “You’re delightfully proportioned even now,” he offered.
    “Thanks. But back then I had abs. I was a yoga fanatic.”
    “Stretchy,” he commented.
    “Yes. That’s part of the story.”
    “I await with bated breath.”
    “So we’re out, on the beach, it is like 10:00am, and these guys drive up with a pickup hauling two dozen cases of beer. And they’ve got funnels and they’re teaching us how to shotgun the cans, and we’re all getting plastered. Then one of them says he has passes for a noon time booze cruise. So we stagger over there.
    And we’re on this converted ferry, and there are kegs and jello shots. There’s a DJ and the music is loud and it’s crowded. We’re all dancing, or actually just drunkenly bumping into each other. I start dancing with this one guy from the beach. He’s totally hot, and I don’t even know his name, and before I know it he’s ramming his tongue down my throat, and I’m sucking his nipple. Even though we’re in the middle of a dance floor, he puts his hand down the front of my bikini bottoms, and, well, I groped at his package.”
    Trent laughed. “Is there anything so lovely as young love? I take it you consummated your attraction right there in public.”
    Claire nodded. “He backed me up against one of the bulkheads, lifted up one of my knees and, well, let nature take its course. He was so excited that he lifted my leg higher and higher, until I was doing a standing split, ankle perched over his shoulder, which sort of gave away the show, though we didn’t realize it until we noticed that the music had stopped and that we had two hundred sets of eyes watching us.”
    “So what did you do?”
    She laughed. “We, um, finished. I mean, we were already so far along.”
    He laughed long and hard. “Good show! That sort of commitment is rare in today’s young people.”
    “We were just too drunk to care. And well, it was still early. When nighttime came, things got really crazy.”
    “And this whole time you never learned his name?”
    “Well, no. I, um, didn’t see him after the cruise. The evening craziness was with a whole other crew. Which is why I don’t usually drink in the morning.”
    Trent laughed. “Well, nothing like that can happen here.”
    “Because I’m married?”
    “No, because you already know my name.”
    I cleared my throat. They both looked up at me. Claire with a wicked grin, Trent with a neutral smile.
    “Hey honey, it’s great that you are feeling better!”
    “Yeah. I guess I just needed the right motivation.”
    I turned to Trent. “Hi, I’m John, Claire’s husband.”
    He suppressed a chuckle. “Indeed. And here I was beginning to think you were just a fiction she’d invented to get rid of me.”
    I don’t think I’ve ever quite hated anyone as much as I hated him at that moment.
    “You have good teeth for an Englishman,” I snarked.
    “Ah yes, that delightfully understated American wit.”
    Claire was looking at him apologetically.
    He stood and flashed her a bright smile. “Well, I need to run along.”
    “Well, you don’t need to leave on my account,” I said, hoping he’d realize I meant precisely the opposite.
    He was gracious. The bastard. “I am meeting some friends at the lagoon. But it was pleasure to meet you John, and Claire, always a pleasure to see you.”
    He walked away, with his erect posture, and broad shoulders, and firm ass.
    “The guy’s an asshole,” I muttered.
    Claire giggled.
    “What?”
    “You didn’t even pause to change out of your PJs.”
    “I wasn’t sure I had time.”
    “You thought I’d run off with him while you pulled on your bathing suit?” she said, mirthfully.
    “I couldn’t be sure. Hey, was that story you told him true?”
    She looked at me over her glasses, her beautiful, blue eyes twinkling mischievously. “Well, you know I can do a standing split.”
    “Yes, but…”
    “But nothing. I’m getting hot out here. Time for a swim.”
    She